Yes, the Church Is Worth It

We had a wonderful surprise this Sunday. Some members of one of our former youth groups drove 5 hours (one way) to be at our worship service, just because...

I must add that they are no longer youth but now have children of their own; although I still think of them as "the kids." My husband was their youth director and I was the (unpaid) assistant, so we really were not  much older than the high school youth, maybe 2-5 years. But we were adults, just barely.

As we told stories and reminisced about old times, I told one of mine. This urban church had a dance each Friday night for the neighborhood kids. The police thanked us because the crime rate went down during that time. The dance drew about 200 kids and had been a ministry of that church for over 15 years--so it was an institution unto itself.

At 10:00 we ushered the crowd out the door and were ready to lock-up and head home. Except locking up was always a problem. The church had an ancient alarm system which consisted of a silver magnetic tape that went over the doors and windows. Invariably, one of the kids would slit the tape with a razor blade, which made finding the break almost impossible. But we got pretty good a finding it, but it could take as long as an extra hour. So I was usually annoyed, because that meant that we wouldn't get home until midnight leaving no time for us.

After I told my story, one of the "boys" spoke up. He asked, "Why do you think they did it?" I just thought they were up to mischief, and I had ample reason for believing it too. But he answered, "It was because, we didn't want to go home." This floored me. I had never considered that as a reason, but knew in my heart that it had to be true. All that for an extra hour away from home.

I have many fond memories of this youth group, because it was really my first. So I experienced many "firsts" with them. It was the first time I had such responsibility and authority and they taught me a lot. It was one of the hardest jobs I ever had, but yes, it was worth it. They were worth it. My husband baptized each of the ones that visited and they still had their certificates so many years later. They turned out ok, but many of their friends did not. We just planted seeds. Some took root; others didn't. But it was still worth it.

When I see so much pettiness and ugliness in the church, I wonder if being a church professional is worth it. Sunday reminded me that, yes, it's worth it and a lot more. I hope you keep your reasons for staying in ministry ever before you.

Grace, Kathy

The Color of Prayer

This comes from the leaders of our Adult Education at our local church. Thought you'd enjoy it as well.


"We have been using a video during our class time to teach us more about prayer and yesterday one of the topics on the video was The Color of Prayer. I thought this was so fascinating because I had never thought about prayer having a color. Think about that for a minute. What color would you assign to prayer? Some responses of people on the video were white, rainbow, and blue. But the response that I loved was a man that is a hospice counselor. He said that the color of prayer for him was water. He explained that he knew that wasn't a particular color, but when he thought about prayer he always compares it to water. Water is fluid just as our prayer life should be. A constant flow of communication between us and God. He said sometimes the water is clear and sometimes the water is muddy. Sometimes the answers from God are crystal clear and sometimes the answers are not so clear and we have to spend more time in meditation and discernment. Sometimes water flows gently and calmly and sometimes the water is rough with huge waves. Our prayers can be loving words of praise and gratitude exchanged between us and God or our prayers can express our anger, frustration, or impatience for why we are going through particular trials and tribulations."


Happy Easter Monday,
Kathy

Lay Leadership in Our Church

This post is from the chairs of our education committee, sent out each Monday morning.

Lord, we pray for those who need you the most, and we pray for those who think they need you the least.

Good morning everyone,

The above prayer is part of the morning meditation on one of the mornings on the Walk to Emmaus. It has always stuck with me and I have been thinking about it a lot recently. On Saturday morning, I brought my kids to the church to once again help with the water ministry. If you have not had a chance to help with this ministry yet, I encourage you to give it a try! With 90% of our community expressing that faith is not an important part of their lives, it is more important than ever to spread the good news! These are the people who need God the most, but feel they need God the least. 

I was reminded of the above prayer again yesterday when the pastor spoke about fellow Christians who through their own judgmental ways, persecute other believers. I think we have probably all been guilty of this at some point in our faith journeys when we feel someone is not following Christ as we think they should. At that moment, WE are the ones who need God the most, but may be calling on Him the least. 

I personally have a person in each category in my life right now. I have one who is a non-believer and I have one who feels their spiritual journey is far above my own. So what do you do? PRAY, PRAY, and PRAY some more. We simply have to lift these people to God and allow Him to work in their lives. We also have to listen for God because He may call on us to be the one to make a difference in their lives. So today Lord, we pray for those who need you the most and we pray for those who think they need you the least. Bless our lives so we can be a blessing to those you put in our path. Amen. 

UM Clergy and Same-Sex Weddings

Preface

The Rev. Dr. Thomas Warren Ogletree presided over the wedding of his son, Thomas Rimbey Ogletree, to Nicholas Haddad on Oct. 20, 2012. The service took place at the Yale Club in New York City. Subsequently, The Rev. Randall C. Paige, pastor of Christ Church in Port Jefferson Station, N.Y., and the Rev. Roy E. Jacobsen, a retired pastor in the New York Annual Conference, filed a complaint against Rev. Ogletree after his son’s wedding announcement appeared on Oct. 21, 2012, in The New York Times. The complaint triggered a supervisory process conducted by Bishop Martin McLee of the New York Annual Conference and an attempt to find a just resolution among the parties.  When this process failed to yield such a resolution in the time period specified by the The Discipline of the United Methodist Church, Bishop McLee announced that he would refer the matter to a Counsel for The Church for further investigation.
Bishop McLee appointed the Rev. Timothy J. Riss, pastor of The Poughkeepsie United Methodist Church and an elder in the New York Annual Conference, to represent the Church’s interests in all further proceedings.  Rev. Riss reviewed the facts in the case and eventually determined that there was sufficient evidence to warrant a charge being filed against Rev. Ogletree for violating ¶2702.1b of the Discipline, which prohibits United Methodist pastors from officiating at same gender marriage ceremonies.  He drew up a bill of charges, consisting of a single charge that Rev. Ogletree had violated the provisions of ¶2702.1b and presented his findings to Bishop McLee.  Bishop McLee accepted Rev. Riss’s recommendation to proceed to a trial and then appointed retired United Methodist Bishop S. Clifton Ives to preside over the trial.  He also scheduled the trial for March 10, 2014 at First United Methodist Church in Stamford, CT.
On January 29, 2014, at the first meeting among the counsels and Presiding Officer, Bishop Ives, in keeping with Disciplinary guidelines, made the decision to return the matter to Bishop McLee for a further attempt at just resolution.  This was done with the concurrence of Rev. Riss and the Counsel for Rev. Ogletree, the Rev. Scott Campbell, pastor of Harvard-Epworth United Methodist Church in Cambridge, MA, and with the agreement of Bishop McLee.  A meeting was fixed with Bishop McLee and the other parties for the morning of February 6.  At that time a verbal agreement on the general terms of a just resolution was achieved.  The details of the agreement were subsequently communicated, refined and agreed upon by the Church and the respondent via email and conference calls.  The terms of this agreement follow.

Agreement for a Just Resolution

After a process of dialogue spanning nearly two months, the persons signing this document have entered into a Just Resolution Agreement in the matter of the Rev. Dr. Thomas W. Ogletree and the New York Annual Conference.  The comments of the Rev. Randall C. Paige and the Rev. Roy E. Jacobsen, the original complainants, were received and considered as part of the just resolution negotiations.  They are entered as a part of the record of this process.  The terms of the agreement are:
1.  Dr. Ogletree agrees to forego his constitutionally guaranteed right to a trial by his peers.
2.  Dr. Ogletree agrees to make himself available, health permitting, for at least one public forum to be convened by the office of Bishop Martin McLee to reflect theologically, spiritually and ecclesiastically on the nature of the covenant that binds us together in the United Methodist Church.
3.  Bishop McLee calls for and commits to a cessation of church trials for conducting ceremonies which celebrate homosexual unions or performing same-sex wedding ceremonies and instead will offer a process of theological, spiritual and ecclesiastical conversation.  His statement is attached to this document. [below]
4.  Bishop McLee will convene within six months a public forum dealing with matters of human sexuality and the United Methodist Church.

a. The purpose of this forum will be to contribute to healing within the body and greater understanding among those who are affiliated with the New York Annual Conference.  The Bishop intends that persons would listen deeply to one another in an atmosphere of Christian respect.

b. This forum shall reflect a variety of different opinions and understandings.

c. Dr. Ogletree, representatives from MIND (Methodists in New Directions), the Wesley Fellowship, and other such parties as the Bishop shall determine shall be invited to participate in this forum.

d. The Bishop shall report on his plans for this forum and the results of this forum to the Committee on the Episcopacy of the New York Annual Conference.  This Committee shall have the authority to modify the timeline for this forum if necessary.

5.  The Parties recognize that certain limited third parties involved in legal consultation may be privy to the circumstances and terms of the Just Resolution proceedings.  Notwithstanding those limited disclosures, the Just Resolution negotiations themselves are to be considered confidential.  It is understood that the parties with whom such limited disclosure is shared are bound by the same confidentiality as the signatories to this agreement.

AGREED AND RATIFIED March 10, 2014

Statement by Bishop Martin McLee of the
New York Annual Conference

I am grateful to report that the matter concerning the Reverend Dr. Thomas W. Ogletree will not result in a church trial as a just resolution has been achieved. The just resolution provisions of the Book of Discipline are clear in voicing just resolution as the preferred response in Judicial Administration. Church trials produce no winners. While many insist on the trial procedure for many reasons, I offer that trials are not the way forward. Church trials disrupt annual conference life, they drain dedicated Episcopal and staff time. Church trials result in harmful polarization and continue the harm brought upon our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters. The burdensome cost of trials combine to negate any benefit in the ongoing debate on matters relating to human sexuality.
As the Bishop of the New York Annual Conference, in consideration of my responsibility to provide spiritual, pastoral and temporal oversight for those committed to my care, I call for and commit to a cessation of church trials for conducting ceremonies which celebrate homosexual unions or performing same-gender wedding ceremonies and instead offer a process of theological, spiritual and ecclesiastical conversation. I understand that nothing in this agreement deprives any clergyperson of his or her constitutionally guaranteed right to a trial.
In the next few months I will invite the Reverend Dr. Ogletree to join others from varying perspectives to a public forum on the true nature of the covenant that binds us together. Clearly there continues to be multiple perspectives on matters of human sexuality and the response of the church. While this forum may not resolve this ongoing challenge, it will provide an opportunity for healing and a chance for open and honest dialogue.
God bless us all as we seek to be light and life in a time of theological challenge.
All my prayers,
Bishop Martin McLee

Statement by the Rev. Dr. Thomas Ogletree

In recognition of Bishop Martin McLee’s publicly stated intention to approach the matter of marriage equality in a non-juridical manner, but instead to offer a process of theological, spiritual and ecclesiastical reflection, I hereby relinquish my right to a trial on the charge that has been brought against me for officiating at a same gender wedding ceremony. I further agree to make myself available, health permitting, to participate in the above-mentioned Forum that Bishop McLee will convene.
Dr. Thomas W. Ogletree

End of Just Resolution Agreement

What Is the Anxiety Level at Your Church?

Last night at choir practice, we prayed for so many people. It seems that everyone knows someone who is struggling with illness or other trauma. It gives great comfort to pray with others and have the assurance that all is in God's hands.

But I'm not sure why we don't have that same confidence when it comes to dealing with money in the church. Like many churches, our church wishes it had more money for mission and ministry. Giving is down but that is because some major givers have moved. Membership has increased, but many young families don't have the resources to give. While I am grateful that our church is growing and that there are new faces in the congregation, money issues seem to be the only issues that matter to some folks.

Now if people really tithed, that would be another story. Perhaps God will prompt them to be more generous. Research shows that pastors give a much higher percentage of their income to the church than other people in the congregation, and many more pastors tithe. Maybe our family has more of a vested interest. I certainly hope that is not the case, but sadly  (and frankly this annoys me) I've seen too many people just leave the church instead of helping make it better.

Our church and community have suffered some tough blows this last year, but Jesus is the Lord of the future and our friend. There is no reason to be anxious.

Grace,
Kathy

Great Mission Opportunity

Perhaps you've already heard of the Shoebox Ministry also known as Operation Christmas Child sponsored by Samaritans Purse, started and organized by Franklin Graham. You can check it out by going to this link:
http://www.samaritanspurse.org/what-we-do/operation-christmas-child/

This ministry involves collecting and sending items to children--some in this country and others across the world--and putting the items in a shoebox. You may ask: why talk about this now? Christmas is long gone.

Our church has participated in this ministry for about 4 years. The main reason is that this ministry ignited passion in one of our members. The first year our church did do this shortly before Christmas and we completed about 50 boxes. This past year our church member started earlier and we sent over 180 boxes. Someone even donated a large amount of money for soccer balls, and we found a way to package them too. Now it's a year-round effort. Kids not only receive toys, tooth bushes, flashlights with extra batteries, but Samaritans Purse also sends materials to teach kids about the love of Christ. The boxes from our church are just now headed toward their destination. Kids will receive them in March.

Sure it feels good to send something tangible to children in need, but this ministry has also helped create a spirit of generosity in our church and helped motivate and inspire our kids, even the very young children. Before the boxes are completed, a person writes a note to the child who will receive the box, then each box is prayed over. There are just so many stories of how our children have written and prayed for kids they'll never even meet. Sometimes the child receiving the box responds with a written thank-you. These letters are great gifts for our children.

If you are looking for a way to get your church involved in outreach, this is a simply way to start. The benefits will extend far beyond what you'll believe possible.

Grace, Kathy

What Is the Number One Spiritual Issue at Your Church?

While our church is growing, we seem to have entered into a phase of malaise. So our spiritual issue is that we again need an infusion of the Holy Spirit.

What is the number one spiritual issue at your church?

Blessings, Kathy

Early Morning Mary

The church I attend has a 7:30 am chapel service every Wednesday. Although the attendance fluctuates, there can be as few as four and as many as ten. 

I have led the service a few times when the pastors were on vacation or busy. Although the church is close to 25 minutes from my house, getting up early, usually in the dark, and driving to the small chapel to begin the day with other believers is a great blessing.

I led the service this past Wednesday and will again lead next week.  My message this week was about Mary which I titled, "How Can This Be?" I commented how Mary is held as an extraordinary  example of obedience to God's word, although her first response to the angel's message about  carrying God's son was "'How can this be?"

We do not know the process Mary went through to go from her initial response, "How can this be?"  to "I am the Lord's servant, may it happen to me as you have said,, but the scripture between her two comments offers helpful advice when we too are placed in situations where our response is "How can this be?"

Throughout life we have experiences which leave us saying,"'How can this be?"--a sudden job loss, a newly diagnosed illness, an unexpected pregnancy, learning about a move when a long-awaited job has just been secured. This happened to me twice. I received job offers for positions I long desired, only to find out a few months later we were moving; or any other situations which leave us surprised, confused, distressed.

Looking at the scripture, the angel offers a few words of advice to Mary. The angel says:

1. "Don't be afraid." Mary was obviously troubled by the angel's words as are we when unexpected events happen.  Unexpected circumstances remind us things are changing. We don't initially have a new plan or direction as our regular routine is affected.Remembering the angel's words,"'Don't be afraid," may calm our hearts as we begin to deal with the unexpected.

2. "The Holy Spirit will come on you." The power of the Holy Spirit is without limit. Even when we do not know how to pray, the Holy Spirit provides. The companionship of the Holy Spirit carries us, until we can reach a place of peace.

 

3."'God's power will rest upon you"'  Knowing that God was with Mary as she worked through the astonishing news was a reminder she was not alone. We too have the same assurance that no matter what is happening in our lives, God is with us.

 

Mary must have absorbed the angel's words, helping her arrive at a place of acceptance and peace so she could say with confidence, "I am the Lord's servant, may it happen to me as you have said."'

 

The angel's words can help us  work through those moments when we say, "How can this be?"  Keep these words close throughout the year so that whatever happens we too can come before God, finding peace and acceptance.

 

Jacquie Reed 

Fishers, Indiana

When Going to Worship Hurts

How many times have I heard clergy spouses share stories of pain? Way too many--even some of my own experiences in churches brought challenges.  

One of the most difficult aspects of pain in ministry has to be seeing persons in church each week who have made unkind remarks or caused disturbances in committee meetings that have hurt my husband and consequently have an impact on me and our family.

I hear lay people comment that attending church is a source of renewal and comfort, a time to gain support in the body of Christ and to celebrate those occasions that bring joy.

What can clergy spouses do, when Sunday becomes the hardest  day of the week. (I've heard these words so many times, especially recently).  Where can spouses go to seek God's presence in worship? 

Something I did a few years ago, helped me greatly.  I asked my husband if I could go somewhere else to church for a month of Sundays. He knew I was supportive of his ministry, but circumstances at church were just too overwhelming, and I needed a break. He agreed.  

Since I knew every United Methodist pastor serving a church within a twenty mile radius of my home, I decided to attend four different Quaker churches. I walked into the sanctuary and came to a place where I could be present to God. I did have a sense of community experiencing worship in the body of Christ even though I didn't know anyone.  

I found the Quaker service one of peace and quiet. The ten minutes of silence in the middle of worship was an opportunity for me to drink God deeply into my soul. I appreciated my time away from my own church, and returned refreshed and renewed.

An interesting aspect of my time away was no one missed me. No one asked my husband where I was. I realized I did what was necessary to care of myself. It just did not matter what anyone said or thoughy. 

I pray that if your church is a place of pain that you can find another church to attend for worship, even for one week to care for yourself and re-connect with God.

Jacquie

Clergy Spouse Retreat

The Indiana Conference has a long-time history of an annual clergy spouse retreat. The event was held last weekend in Indianapolis, a central location.
 
There was a speaker, singing, worship, an afternoon for shopping or sight-seeing, and, of course, being with friends who live all over the state.
 
I want to share two comments from spouses/my friends, which I feel summarizes the weekend.

"I've always said that I couldn't care less about who the speaker is; I just LOVE being able to let down my shields for a weekend, to spend time with people who 'get it.'" Another friend added,"Being with people who really get what my life is like is what draws me back more than anything else."
 
I believe these two comments indicate the value of our time together. We do understand the nature of our lives more than anyone else. Having an opportunity to share stories, challenges as well as "glory moments" is important to our mental and spiritual health.

Although social media makes communication and connection easier for those who live in various towns and cities, but actually being physically present adds depth and meaning to our encounters.
 
I am so thankful for the retreat. Do other conferences have similar events?
 
Jacquie Reed 
Fishers, Indiana

From Vibrant to Dying Church

Had a conversation with a friend who recently visited a church. She said that the attendance was slim on Sunday but full during the week, because of the church's preschool ministry. In fact seeing 3 school buses in the marketing lot was what made her choose that church to visit in the first place. During her visit she learned how the church was stuck in the past and refused to grow, driving away prospective new members. With the age of the congregation, it is only a short matter of time before the church will have to close--a very sad story.

But as she talked the name of the church rang a bell in my head. I remember also visiting that same church years before. At that time it was alive and was active in Lay Witness Mission program, which was a successful renewal movement. The church also hosted what was then called "contemporary worship." In fact, several big name Christian music folks got their start performing in that sanctuary. As far as I could see, no church member flinched when the musicians brought in their guitars, drums, and sound equipment.

So what happened? This church went from being on fire for God to being wet blankets, saying "no" to anything new and different.

Perhaps they need to be reminded of their past. Or perhaps their success was frozen into tradition. I don't know, but, as we all know, it is up to every generation to pass along our Christian witness in a way that it will be received by new people; not so that they will do it like us, but so they can adapt it to their own situation and then pass it along to others.

Like it or not, to shine a dependable light into the world's darkness, our Christian faith has to have the Church as an institution. Faith is more than that, we all know, but the Church as a gathering place and organization is necessary. But the Church cannot exist for long without fresh air, which breathing the Holy Spirit provides.

Pray for your church.

Grace,
Kathy

Forty Days: Help for Grief

There is a service  in the Greek Orthodox Church that occurs forty days after a person's death. Special food is prepared to eat after the service of remembrance.  My parents, who both died in mid-January, were recently honored.

I was telling a friend, who is familiar with the Greek Orthodox tradition about the  difficulty I was having dealing with their passing. She suggested that I begin my own forty-day period of reflection to deal with the emotions I was experiencing. She didn't tell me how to structure the time or what to do. I decided to commit to forty days of reflection, asking God to direct me daily.   got a notebook, numbering each day, including the date. I wrote a few words or sentences each night. Sometimes I wrote God questions, other times I recorded new insights or perspectives received. I wrote scripture; I wrote prayers. I drew simple pictures. I brought my heart completely to God.  

I am on day 37 of 40. I have reached a place of peace. I am so grateful.

I realized that '"forty days" occurs often in the Bible. Noah was in the ark 40 days. Jesus went to the wilderness forty days. Lent lasts 40 days. There are probably more.

I want to offer  forty days of reflection'for any difficulty or challenge you are facing.  Many pastors and families are anticipating change within the next few weeks with new church appointments. 'Forty days of preparation for the move or the first forty days in a new church might be a  helpful, intentional way of spending time with God, offering grounding in uncertainty, chaos, and adjustment.

Forty days could be effective  for discernment, dealing with any type of loss, celebrating an event, planting a garden or being present to anything life presents.  

I am thankful for the way a Greek Orthodox tradition has helped me along a difficult path. I told my friend today I felt like I had experienced two Lents this year, which also means I have experienced two Easters!!  Thanks be to God!

Jacquie Reed 

Fishers, Indiana

Why Church?

Recently my Sunday School class read Not a Fan. It's a good read but comes from a different theological perspective. One thing we all noticed about the book is that there really isn't anything about the church's role in discipleship formation. According to this book, it's all just between Jesus and you. And it's totally up to you whether you remain a "fan" or become a real "follower" of Jesus. There is nothing about Christian friends or how the church can support people in their faith journey, and there certainly isn't anything about the Sacraments as a vehicle for God's grace.

This got me thinking. Why do we "do" church? For one thing, the church is the body of Christ on earth. We United Methodists, like many denominations, take being the everyday hands and feet of Christ very seriously.The church can mediate God's spiritual presence, but it is also meant to be physically present--to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, and house the homeless. As Jesus said the poor may always be with us, but that doesn't mean that we don't do our part to end poverty. But we don't "do" church, because we are the church for better and worse.

Our local church really strives to be the body of Christ. It is mission orientated. This is not to say that there aren't some who just occasionally or casually attend. We have our share of pew warmers, but they are the minority. Our church also strives to be supportive of and pray for each other. Recently, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I've been touched by all the prayer support. Fortunately, it was caught very early and I'll be OK. For now, it's just a major inconvenience. But I know I can count on my church family.

And frankly, sometimes when a person is too broken or too weary to be a follower, in the church we have fellow pilgrims who will help us stay on the path. You can't be a solitary follower of Christ because following is a group/church activity.

Grace, Kathy

Maundy Thursday: We Can't Out-friend Jesus

            Who is your best friend—the one who saved you from doing that, the one who listens and supports you during tough times, the one who brings out the best in you, the one who helped you become the you you are?

            Susie was my best friend in college. We had loads of fun and got into some scrapes that I still can’t talk about. I was her maid of honor; she was mine. We've loved each other through children, moving across country, our parents’ deaths, and now our grandchildren. I can never be a better friend to her than she is to me. Even now when I think about Susie, I smile. She brings out the best in me and my life is richer because of her. She’s the best. We also can’t be a better friend to Jesus than he is to us. He’s the best and our friendship with him is what we celebrate today.

            Maundy Thursday is the day we celebrate the last meal that Jesus had with his disciples. Tough days are ahead, but now we remember what is good. The word “Maundy” means mandate, and Jesus uses it when he says, “I give you a new commandment (mandate): Love one another; as I have loved you.” Jesus mandates us to love each other, like he loves us, his friends, his best friends.

            The point is simple: Jesus is our friend; and because of him, we befriend others and bear lasting fruit for the Kingdom. But if we fail or run away like Peter, Jesus will seek us out and offer us another chance. In other words, we might drop off the vine and even into the mud, but Jesus remains our friend no matter what.

Throughout the Gospel of John, we hear Jesus say over and over, “My hour has not yet come.” He says this to his mother when she asks him to whip up some wine at a wedding, because they’d run out. It’s said when Jesus is teaching in Jerusalem and some people want to seize and destroy him. It’s said a lot. But it is also said right before Jesus takes the Last Supper with his disciples and again as it draws to a close.

I can just imagine Jesus looking over these clueless disciples. He knows he only has so much time left and he has to fit 5 years of the Course of Study and 4 years of seminary and maybe 15 years of experience working at the church into dinner conversation, which will be especially hard because the wine and the many toasts will make the disciples a little drunk. So the disciples are not positioned to be at their best, and they surely won’t be taking notes. Jesus is going to have to repeat himself and drive home the key points over and over to make sure they get even a little something.

So he starts simple. “I am the vine and you are the branches.” Yes, very good. Let’s make another toast; we are on board with you Jesus. “No,” replies Jesus, “Not quite so easy.” I am the vine and you are the branches. It means that we are connected, but we are connected for a purpose—to be fruitful.” We are connected as the Church. We represent different dominations. We belong to various committees, teams. We are connected and we strive toward common goals to produce significant products for the benefit of the Kingdom. Yes, Jesus we got it.

Then Jesus goes on to say that because we are connected to him, we are connected to each other—not as servants or followers, but as his friends. We are Jesus’ beloved friends. When the Gospel of John talks about “the beloved disciple,” we generally think of John, the disciple. But here Jesus is saying that if we stay connected to him and let him be our friend, we are all his beloved friends. And perhaps even more important, he is our friend; and the hour is here when he’s going to show us just how much that friendship means to him.       

What Jesus asks us to do in return doesn't sound particularly difficult. He wants us to love each other. Yes, even those people who want to sit at the right and left hand of Jesus. Yes, those people who just don’t seem to ever get it. Yes, those people who promise to deliver, but bail at the last minute. You get it—those people.

So under the influence, we all say, “Jesus, we will never fail you. We love you and, ok, we’ll love each other, because we think so much of you.”

Jesus’ hour is here. He is betrayed into the hands of the authorities, who have been trying to get him for a long time. Then there is Peter, who at dinner swears that he will defend Jesus to the death. After Judas’ betrayal and the soldiers step forward, Peter even cuts off the ear of the High Priest’s servant to prove his loyalty. Then he follows at a distance as the soldiers take Jesus away. Peter hangs out in the High Priest’s courtyard waiting for who knows what. Peter would show just how good a friend he was. But we all know the story; Peter denies that he even knows Jesus, let alone that Jesus is his best friend. Peter denies not once, but three times.

And in so doing, Peter cuts himself off from the vine. So he goes back home to fish only for fish. So much for being a rock. So much for the keys of heaven. Peter slinks home, convinced that he will be less than who he could have been with Jesus.

Days pass. Jesus is crucified, buried, and is raised from the dead. Jesus appears to his followers. Everybody wants to see Jesus. Everyone, that is, except Peter. Peter and a few others went home, but Jesus notices that Peter’s not around—like any friend would notice another friend’s absence.

So Jesus goes after him, not a lost coin or lost prodigal, but a lost friend. He goes back to where it all began for him and Peter—to Galilee. And there he is. Jesus finds them all and, of course, Peter. Poor Peter— so broken, so ashamed. So like you would do for any friend who is hurting, you cook them a meal—usually comfort food. So Jesus roasts some fish and they eat.

Then come those questions. Jesus asks, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” These “what” we’re not sure. Probably doesn't matter anyway. At least he and Peter are talking. Jesus asks this question three times. “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” Three times to undo the three times Peter denied him? Three times to drive home his point? Or perhaps it takes three times to get Peter’s attention.

“Yes, Lord you know I love you. Yes, Lord you know I love you like a brother. Then, Yes Lord stop asking, you know already. I can’t love you like you love me. Heck, I can’t even love you like a brother, I can only love you—like Simon son of John.”

Then, I imagine Jesus smiling and saying, “Good enough. That’s all we need. Now, feed my sheep. Go and be that rock I called you to be. Trust me. I’m the best friend you’ll ever need.  

Jesus’ words to us? “Trust me. I’m the best friend you’ll ever need. I’ll help you.”

No, we can’t be a better friend to Jesus than he is to us, but we don’t have to. He loves us as we are. So let’s celebrate our friendship with Jesus by communing with him and each other now.

Have a blessed Easter.

Kathy

Encountering the Heart of Jesus

I wonder what Jesus was thinking as his death approached. Not many people know thier life expectancy, but Jesus did. I spent time reading scripture preceding the Last Supper, trying to get closer to Jesus' heart during these final days.   

I carried these thoughts with me a few hours later when I went to the hospital to visit a clergy friend, Jimmy.   Jimmy is  93 years old, dying of congestive heart failure. Jimmy was appointed to many  churches in   the former South Indiana Conference. He was  a district superintendent. Jimmy's son, also  a pastor, and his daughter, were  in the room.  

Although his  breathing was labored and speech difficult to understand, he managed to say, "I am going to heaven." I realized Jimmy must be in that in-between place where his  body is on earth, while  his soul is already experiencing  what is to come.

Reflecting later, I believe God gave  me an encounter to answer  the question  that began my day. Jimmy  shared an awareness of ending as well as  beginning giving me a glimpse of Jesus' heart as he too approached death.  

Thank you God for providing an experience to deepen my understanding of your Son.

Jacquie Reed 

Fishers, Indiana

Itineracy as a Spiritual Discipline

Many years ago (1976)  when my husband, Mike, received his first appointment after completing seminary at Duke,  we knew we would live in many places. We accepted the reality of moving every few years. We knew that God was with us wherever we landed. We were aware that God would mold us and grow us closer to God and to each other as we developed relationships with   people in each church and 

We never questioned a move. We accepted itineracy as part of ministry. We sought God for strength and courage with each church.

I hear a lot of discussion  with seminary students, clergy and clergy spouses, who want to put 'guidelines' on  itineracy and what he/she will accept in an appointment. Some of these restrictions are related to a spouse's employment, a child's grade in school, or various other factors. I often want to say, "Trusting God is part of an appointment. God will provide as needed. Every appointment provides a place to increase faith and dependency on God."  

Twice during Mike's years of service, I had opportunities for professional advancement. One job I had to decline, because we were moving. The other job, in a different town, I  sought for six  years. Finally, there was an opening, for which I applied and was hired. We found out we were moving three months into the  job. I was, of course, disappointed, as was Mike. However I trusted and had faith that God would provide employment in the new community. Shortly after we moved, I received a new position , which combined aspects of the job I had to decline and the job I had to leave. I was so grateful.  

Last week I met with a dear friend whose husband is a district superintendent in the Indiana Conference.  (The North and South Conferences merged a few years ago.) She explained that during a recent seminary visit, her husband spoke with students about itineracy as a spiritual discipline--interesting thought.

Spiritual disciplines are various  practices  that can increase faith and trust in God, as well as expand or open one's heart to the possibilities of growth and opportunity to love and serve in the kingdom. I am so thankful for the way my walk with God has developed each place we've lived. I cannot imagine declining or limiting an opportunity to see how God can act and provide. I left each church Mike pastored a different person--closer to God and deeper knowledge of myself.  

I completely agree with my friend's husband. Perhaps itineracy needs to be added to the list of spiritual disciplines that can draw us closer to God. Jesus' ministry was itinerant. However, times are different than in 1976 when Mike began. What remains the same, however, is the importance  of  seeking God for all needs--for trusting God at all times--and having faith that God WILL provide no matter where one lives.

Jacquie Reed 

Fishers, Indiana

Lent

Lent is known as a time of self-examination and repentance. I grew up in the Episcopal church. Each Sunday during Lent, the children decided what everyone in the church would "give up" throughout the coming week. Ice cream was popular as was television. No one like to do without ice cream, but there was a sense of self-denial in the practice.

Years later, I heard of "taking on" a spiritual discipline or act of service during Lent, with the idea of forming a new habit or focus.  Taking on rather than giving up seemed to be a more positive/active was of growing deeper into life with Christ.

I decided this year to take a completely different focus. I am using a book by Juliet Benner, Contemplative Vision - A Guide to Christian Art and Prayer. The book is an exercise in contemplative prayer using art.  Reflections and discussion  are offered on ten paintings. (There is a color copy of each painting in the center of the book.)  A brief biography of each artist is given.

I am excited to take on and learn new ways of seeing - and making more space for God in my heart.

How will you make more room for God in your life during this Lenton Season?

Jacquie Reed 

Fishers, Indiana   

Lessons from the Olympics--Happiness Is Perspective

I love the Olympics and am sorry that we'll have to wait 18 months for the Winter games. They offer some good life lessons.

Perhaps you heard the research, but it seems that bronze medals winners are generally happier than the silver medalists. The silver medalists compare themselves to the gold medal winners. They think, "If only I had done a little more." So they go to the podium disappointed. The bronze medalists, on the other hand, compare themselves to all the people who didn't win. They see themselves as much better off and just lucky to be there at all. They go to the podium with gratitude. The level of happiness is a matter of who they compare themselves to.

Are you happy? Who do you compare yourself too? We are blessed with so much material and spiritual wealth. But many don't feel satisfied with their blessings, because they think other people have more. They feel shorted even cheated when compared to "everyone" else.

While I certainly like my creature comforts, there have been times when our family struggled. The parsonage was substandard. Money, or the lack of it, was a constant worry. If seemed that we were always just one step away from financial ruin. But we were still happy. Happy to be together and learning how to depend on God with more trust. Times are better for us now, but the lessons we learned from the hard times have not gone unheeded. And now I can even thank God for them.

How is it with you? Are you struggling? Are you continually disappointed with your lot in life? Perhaps it is time to express gratitude for what you do have and thank God for your blessings, which God willingly wants for us.

Dear God, With so many unhappy people in our congregations, help us keep our eyes focused on you and the blessings you give us. Help us express gratitude so that we can experience the joy of living. In Christ's name, Amen.

Grace, Kathy

Living Out the Joy of Salvation

There are troubled churches because there are troubled people. But there are also deeply committed and joyful Christians in every church (or so I choose to believe).

In our church we have several weekly prayer and study groups. One group I attend is an Emmaus Reunion Group. If you are unfamiliar with the Walk to Emmaus program from the Upper Room, you might want to check them out at http://emmaus.upperroom.org

We meet weekly for accountable discipleship, which includes sharing moments closest to Christ, calls to discipleship, times when we were not mindful of God's call, and prayer. As we pray and share each week, we grow closer to God but also closer to each other. This group and its members give me great joy, and it also strengthens our congregation.

While congregational life is difficult. It is also reassuring to know that congregational life can bring deep satisfaction. Just like children bring many trials; we would not trade them for anything and would go to the ends of the earth to make sure they are loved and provided for.

So the front doors of our churches really can help us enter into the joy of Christ's salvation.

Grace, Kathy

Fighting Clergy Depression

With so many toxic and unhealthy churches, it's a wonder there isn't more clergy depression. But if you suspect that your clergy spouse is depressed, how can you know for sure?

Depression is a serious illness that requires professional help. It is more that just feeling bad or out of sorts for a day or two, Depression persists--sometimes for years. And often family members are the last--yes, the last--to notice.

But here are some clues to watch for in your adult loved ones. Please note that kids and youth are another matter.

1. Too much eating or loss of interest in eating
2. Too much sleeping but still feeling tired no matter how much sleep
3. Loss of interest in sex
4. Inordinate feelings of constant helplessness or anxiety
5. New, increased, highly ritualized compulsive behaviors
6. Unexplained sadness, feelings of guilt and/or despair
7. Talking or thinking about suicide
8. Unexplained physical illness and/or pain
9. Increased desire to be alone and/or disconnecting from significant relationships.
10. Spiritual ennui, listlessness, lack of focus or concentration

Often these clues are a matter of degree and they can appear together. Because we are physical, emotional, relational, rational, spiritual beings, a disturbance in one area will show up in the other areas as well.

In our churches, we're not good at talking about depression--much less clergy depression. But it is common. So take care. Even a healthy church drains clergy and families--an unhealthy church will suck the life out of you. So if you're in trouble, reach out to a trusted professional. If you need a counselor, you can go to the American Association of Pastoral Counselors website and find someone in your area.

Grace, Kathy