Dear Friends, I am helping lead a spouse retreat in the next couple of weeks and would appreciate your feedback.
In your experience how do you determine when it is time to move? Are there signs you look for?
For us, it seems that we've always been happy to stay. I especially have always advocated for family stability, even when my spouse would have been happy to move on. And while a couple of our moves were because the bishop wanted us at a particular place, there have been other times when the churches have been so unbearable/toxic that we just needed relief.
I had a bishop (not ours) tell me recently that the reason there are so many moves is because clergy request them. This surprised me for lots of reasons. About one third of our clergy move each year, despite promises of longer tenure by the Cabinet. This pattern has been in effect ever since we begin ministry about 30 years ago. Perhaps this just means that the more things change the more they remain the same.
What do you think is long enough or too much time at a church? When is the best time to move?
Kathy
I believe it. Longer tenures are important for family stability and church growth, but if it was a poor fit from the start, then the pastor and his family are indeed going to be miserable and want out.
ReplyDeleteI have begged my husband to "let us leave" for the last three years. We are both miserable here, but he feels he needs to stick it out longer, despite the toll it is taking on us personally and as a family.