You may have noticed that UM appointments are already being announced. As this stressful time of year visits us once again, please remember that you don't have to go it alone. Many of us have moved multiple times, sometimes to a healthier church and sometimes to a more conflicted church.
Yet, each time we've moved, I've been optimistic. True, moving is a hassle and difficult especially if you have young children. But it's also a pain as you get older and just have a lot more important stuff to haul.
Look forward to meeting new people and leaving behind problem ones. If you can, you might offer to help someone in your district. While there is collegiality between pastors, there is less for spouses. So be proactive and call someone you know. If you don't know anyone, call your DS and ask for a name. If that fails, call your Conference Connectional Ministry office.
If you'd like to get more ideas to make your move smoother, you might check out this book by F. Belton Joyner Jr., Life in the Fish Bowl: Everyday Challenges of Pastors and Their Families, 9780687332946. Or just contact us at the SpouseConnect blog.
Grace,
Kathy
February 4, 2014
January 27, 2014
Great Mission Opportunity
Perhaps you've already heard of the Shoebox Ministry also known as Operation Christmas Child sponsored by Samaritans Purse, started and organized by Franklin Graham. You can check it out by going to this link:
http://www.samaritanspurse.org/what-we-do/operation-christmas-child/
This ministry involves collecting and sending items to children--some in this country and others across the world--and putting the items in a shoebox. You may ask: why talk about this now? Christmas is long gone.
Our church has participated in this ministry for about 4 years. The main reason is that this ministry ignited passion in one of our members. The first year our church did do this shortly before Christmas and we completed about 50 boxes. This past year our church member started earlier and we sent over 180 boxes. Someone even donated a large amount of money for soccer balls, and we found a way to package them too. Now it's a year-round effort. Kids not only receive toys, tooth bushes, flashlights with extra batteries, but Samaritans Purse also sends materials to teach kids about the love of Christ. The boxes from our church are just now headed toward their destination. Kids will receive them in March.
Sure it feels good to send something tangible to children in need, but this ministry has also helped create a spirit of generosity in our church and helped motivate and inspire our kids, even the very young children. Before the boxes are completed, a person writes a note to the child who will receive the box, then each box is prayed over. There are just so many stories of how our children have written and prayed for kids they'll never even meet. Sometimes the child receiving the box responds with a written thank-you. These letters are great gifts for our children.
If you are looking for a way to get your church involved in outreach, this is a simply way to start. The benefits will extend far beyond what you'll believe possible.
Grace, Kathy
http://www.samaritanspurse.org/what-we-do/operation-christmas-child/
This ministry involves collecting and sending items to children--some in this country and others across the world--and putting the items in a shoebox. You may ask: why talk about this now? Christmas is long gone.
Our church has participated in this ministry for about 4 years. The main reason is that this ministry ignited passion in one of our members. The first year our church did do this shortly before Christmas and we completed about 50 boxes. This past year our church member started earlier and we sent over 180 boxes. Someone even donated a large amount of money for soccer balls, and we found a way to package them too. Now it's a year-round effort. Kids not only receive toys, tooth bushes, flashlights with extra batteries, but Samaritans Purse also sends materials to teach kids about the love of Christ. The boxes from our church are just now headed toward their destination. Kids will receive them in March.
Sure it feels good to send something tangible to children in need, but this ministry has also helped create a spirit of generosity in our church and helped motivate and inspire our kids, even the very young children. Before the boxes are completed, a person writes a note to the child who will receive the box, then each box is prayed over. There are just so many stories of how our children have written and prayed for kids they'll never even meet. Sometimes the child receiving the box responds with a written thank-you. These letters are great gifts for our children.
If you are looking for a way to get your church involved in outreach, this is a simply way to start. The benefits will extend far beyond what you'll believe possible.
Grace, Kathy
January 13, 2014
The new year is underway but some things remain the same.
While this story doesn't surprise me, it's still pretty sad.
This story is about an otherwise healthy church that strives to live out its biblical mandate to be the family of God. One my friends noticed that several active families left their church for no apparent reason, at least from the pastor's point of view. Although my friend was told that there were reasons, she wasn't free to say what they were. The pastor called these families and was told that their children had friends going to another church and just preferred that one. While the stories sounded lame, we all know that people leave a church for less.
Time went by when it was discovered that one of the volunteer staff had made a serious error in judgement. It was in no way unlawful, but it was a dumb and potentially dangerous mistake. As a result, some parents had concerns for their children, which, when the pastor found out, made perfect sense. From the volunteer's point of view, it was all a big misunderstanding. But some of the families involved just left the church; and when asked by the pastor about why they left, they clearly did not tell the whole truth.
What absolutely floors me is that these parents never said a word to the pastor or even the lay leadership. They just left. Not facing an issue and running away is bad enough when it's just about your kids, but they left knowing that other kids might be affected too. In my mind, this is not how the family of God should operate.
So while I still believe that the volunteer did something unwise, I have no sympathy for the families that left the church as a result. They left turning their backs on the rest of their church family. They decided to take the easy way out and say nothing.
How did the pastor finally find out? My friend said that the pastor found out by accident. One of the children mentioned it in passing. No adult (and there were other adults present when the incident occurred) came forward. I guess they thought it would all magically go away.
Here is a case where a mistake that could have been easily handled was blown out of proportion, resulting in secrets, lies, and evidence of bad character by a lot of folks. How should the family of God, the body of Christ act? Certainly not like this.
Grace, Kathy
While this story doesn't surprise me, it's still pretty sad.
This story is about an otherwise healthy church that strives to live out its biblical mandate to be the family of God. One my friends noticed that several active families left their church for no apparent reason, at least from the pastor's point of view. Although my friend was told that there were reasons, she wasn't free to say what they were. The pastor called these families and was told that their children had friends going to another church and just preferred that one. While the stories sounded lame, we all know that people leave a church for less.
Time went by when it was discovered that one of the volunteer staff had made a serious error in judgement. It was in no way unlawful, but it was a dumb and potentially dangerous mistake. As a result, some parents had concerns for their children, which, when the pastor found out, made perfect sense. From the volunteer's point of view, it was all a big misunderstanding. But some of the families involved just left the church; and when asked by the pastor about why they left, they clearly did not tell the whole truth.
What absolutely floors me is that these parents never said a word to the pastor or even the lay leadership. They just left. Not facing an issue and running away is bad enough when it's just about your kids, but they left knowing that other kids might be affected too. In my mind, this is not how the family of God should operate.
So while I still believe that the volunteer did something unwise, I have no sympathy for the families that left the church as a result. They left turning their backs on the rest of their church family. They decided to take the easy way out and say nothing.
How did the pastor finally find out? My friend said that the pastor found out by accident. One of the children mentioned it in passing. No adult (and there were other adults present when the incident occurred) came forward. I guess they thought it would all magically go away.
Here is a case where a mistake that could have been easily handled was blown out of proportion, resulting in secrets, lies, and evidence of bad character by a lot of folks. How should the family of God, the body of Christ act? Certainly not like this.
Grace, Kathy
January 7, 2014
What Is the Number One Spiritual Issue at Your Church?
While our church is growing, we seem to have entered into a phase of malaise. So our spiritual issue is that we again need an infusion of the Holy Spirit.
What is the number one spiritual issue at your church?
Blessings, Kathy
What is the number one spiritual issue at your church?
Blessings, Kathy
December 20, 2013
Love Came Down at Christmas
On my in to work this morning, several of us on the commuter van were talking about what days we were taking off for Christmas. One person remarked that she was going to have to work a lot of hours despite the holidays, because she was not able to get everything done in her office. This prompted another person to say that, for her, what was truly important was family and friends. She said that when you leave work, the people will miss you but the work will go on. Then she recounted this story.
Several years ago she was teaching this very lesson at a workshop for her employees. Her team is a dedicated bunch and they work very hard. It was a matter of pride that they accomplish their work goals. So when she said that if you leave, people will miss you but the institution won't care and the work will continue, that comment was met with some resistance. After the workshop my friend got a phone call that one of her team, who worked out of town, suddenly died--a forty-ish man had a heart attack and simply died to everyone's shock. The next day, my friend walked in to finish up the workshop and she told them about their colleague. Then she said, "And do you think that there isn't a person sitting at his desk doing the work this morning? He will be missed but the work goes on."
In response to her story, I joked that in many places you may leave but not replaced. And she answered, "But even with fewer hands, the work will continue."
So this year please remember what is truly important.
But for us Christians there is another lesson. God's work will always get done if not by us, then someone else. God never leaves himself without a witness. This can mean a lot of different things, but today, for me, it means that we are free and that's a big relief. None of us is so special in getting a job done that God can't find someone else. We don't bear the sole weight of responsibility--God does. Bringing in the kingdom does not depend solely on us. We can take a break and celebrate. Sure we should do our part, but we are just a part, not the whole.
Joy and Peace,
Kathy
Several years ago she was teaching this very lesson at a workshop for her employees. Her team is a dedicated bunch and they work very hard. It was a matter of pride that they accomplish their work goals. So when she said that if you leave, people will miss you but the institution won't care and the work will continue, that comment was met with some resistance. After the workshop my friend got a phone call that one of her team, who worked out of town, suddenly died--a forty-ish man had a heart attack and simply died to everyone's shock. The next day, my friend walked in to finish up the workshop and she told them about their colleague. Then she said, "And do you think that there isn't a person sitting at his desk doing the work this morning? He will be missed but the work goes on."
In response to her story, I joked that in many places you may leave but not replaced. And she answered, "But even with fewer hands, the work will continue."
So this year please remember what is truly important.
But for us Christians there is another lesson. God's work will always get done if not by us, then someone else. God never leaves himself without a witness. This can mean a lot of different things, but today, for me, it means that we are free and that's a big relief. None of us is so special in getting a job done that God can't find someone else. We don't bear the sole weight of responsibility--God does. Bringing in the kingdom does not depend solely on us. We can take a break and celebrate. Sure we should do our part, but we are just a part, not the whole.
Joy and Peace,
Kathy
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