A Foretaste of Glory Divine or Something Else Altogether?

As we were singing last night at choir practice, I couldn't help but be reminded that when the church does things right and its people are right with God, it's like a foretaste of heaven. But there are also other times when the church is sick and the people are not right with God, the church is something else.

When churches are healthy fulfilling their mission with enthusiasm and zeal, the world is a better place. But when the church behaves like other dysfunctional families, it wreaks havoc. As partners in ministry, clergy spouses see a lot of both sides. We see and actually benefit from a healthy church. And most likely our spouse's health is better then too. But when there is bickering and in-fighting with people insisting on their own way, we are directly effected. And the stress for our spouse skyrockets.

So what to do? The church is people and even the people of God are still people--a mixture of good and bad, holiness and sin. And, of course, we are too. There are resources to help move your church toward health. (Healthy Congregations http://healthycongregations.com/ for example), but we need to band together and pray. We need to step back, take stock, and get things into perspective. How? Get a perspective from outside your church. Find a friend and go from there.

Each year at our Annual Conference, we have a spouse lunch. Perhaps you have one as well. It's easy to find out. Yes, it's in the middle of the work week, at least for us; but it is one place you can start looking for support. Believe me, you might be surprised to see that those spouses are pretty much like you. And if you don't need support, there'll be some who do.

Need more heaven and less of the other? It begins with us.

Grace, Kathy

Our Prayer for the Ukraine

From Bishop Eduard Khegay, Eurasia Area of The United Methodist Church

  

My prayer is for Ukraine, for peace and unity. My prayer is for Ukraine – this is a song of our brothers and sisters from UMC in Kiev who created this video.   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=UU_9Iaj7QCMUz0Ry5rvhzwsQ&v=DTnb4A2JTnw&feature=player_embedded

During our meeting of pastors and leaders of United Methodist Church in Ukraine this week we lifted up our prayers for the people and the country, for peace and unity. Brothers and sisters shared their worries and concerns for the country’s future. Many could not come from the east to Zakarpatie where we have had our meeting. As I was preaching in our churches in Zakarpatie, my heart was filled with grace and faith, when brothers and sisters with tears in their eyes lifted up their prayers to God for their country. In this politically conflicting time, the church continues to share the gospel way – the way of active ministry to people, preaching of hope and faith, proclamation of God’s power and providence in the history of humankind. According to testimonies of brothers and sisters from different cities, Christian churches never prayed so fervently for their country and for their people as in this difficult time. Also, people were never so open for the gospel and for prayer as in this time.

I thank God for United Methodist churches in Ukraine, who bring hope and reconciliation to people in this difficult time, encourage people and serve those in need. Let us all stand in prayer for our brothers and sisters in Ukraine, for all people and country. My prayer is for Ukraine.

Bishop Khegay, we join you and commit to pray for the people of the Ukraine. We will not abandon them.

Grace, 

Kathy

Early Morning Mary

The church I attend has a 7:30 am chapel service every Wednesday. Although the attendance fluctuates, there can be as few as four and as many as ten. 

I have led the service a few times when the pastors were on vacation or busy. Although the church is close to 25 minutes from my house, getting up early, usually in the dark, and driving to the small chapel to begin the day with other believers is a great blessing.

I led the service this past Wednesday and will again lead next week.  My message this week was about Mary which I titled, "How Can This Be?" I commented how Mary is held as an extraordinary  example of obedience to God's word, although her first response to the angel's message about  carrying God's son was "'How can this be?"

We do not know the process Mary went through to go from her initial response, "How can this be?"  to "I am the Lord's servant, may it happen to me as you have said,, but the scripture between her two comments offers helpful advice when we too are placed in situations where our response is "How can this be?"

Throughout life we have experiences which leave us saying,"'How can this be?"--a sudden job loss, a newly diagnosed illness, an unexpected pregnancy, learning about a move when a long-awaited job has just been secured. This happened to me twice. I received job offers for positions I long desired, only to find out a few months later we were moving; or any other situations which leave us surprised, confused, distressed.

Looking at the scripture, the angel offers a few words of advice to Mary. The angel says:

1. "Don't be afraid." Mary was obviously troubled by the angel's words as are we when unexpected events happen.  Unexpected circumstances remind us things are changing. We don't initially have a new plan or direction as our regular routine is affected.Remembering the angel's words,"'Don't be afraid," may calm our hearts as we begin to deal with the unexpected.

2. "The Holy Spirit will come on you." The power of the Holy Spirit is without limit. Even when we do not know how to pray, the Holy Spirit provides. The companionship of the Holy Spirit carries us, until we can reach a place of peace.

 

3."'God's power will rest upon you"'  Knowing that God was with Mary as she worked through the astonishing news was a reminder she was not alone. We too have the same assurance that no matter what is happening in our lives, God is with us.

 

Mary must have absorbed the angel's words, helping her arrive at a place of acceptance and peace so she could say with confidence, "I am the Lord's servant, may it happen to me as you have said."'

 

The angel's words can help us  work through those moments when we say, "How can this be?"  Keep these words close throughout the year so that whatever happens we too can come before God, finding peace and acceptance.

 

Jacquie Reed 

Fishers, Indiana

Newtown Anniversary: What If We Said No?

As we are all being reminded, tomorrow is the one-year anniversary of the Sandy Hook shooting which took the lives of children and adults. It is an event that reminds us how susceptible each of us is to violence and that no one age group or place is safe or sacred from the destruction caused by violence. At the same time, it is a reminder that life still goes on after bad things happen.

I do not know what propels people to watch countless hours of television, as reporters and the media regurgitate the same sound bites for hours. Yet, millions of televisions will inevitably broadcast images, the voices of so-called experts, stories of brokenness and hope, life and of course death.

While the media retells the story, again, we know that the families and town government have asked that we leave them alone and give them privacy. Families have asked people to stay away. If we listened, families could walk the streets of Newtown and remember or reflect, like I did last January when I visited with siblings. They could pop their head into the Misty Vale General Store and share their grief with locals, talking about what this past year has been like for them and the community. They could grab a bite to eat at Villa Restaurant and Pizza with a close friend. They could live their new lives without the disruption of our misplaced intentions.

When the grieving ask for privacy they do not mean, “Hey, please avoid knocking on our door and lurking in our garage.” I think they mean, stay away so that they can choose how to grieve in their own way and at their own home, within their community and without the media and gawkers. That is what I hear them asking for on this day.

So, I wonder. On this day when families ask for privacy and for us to turn our voyeurism into acts of kindness in OUR COMMUNITIES, what would happen if we turned off the television, avoided the news, and ignored, all together, any story about Newtown? Perhaps we could send a message to the media, and those who will choose to ignore the requests by creating chronic coverage, that we choose to respect the wishes of the bereaved.

While we continue to ask questions of “how and why” events like Sandy Hook happen and what we can do to help, it is true that we may want to talk about about gun control, access to mental health support, violence in American life, and all the other issues events like Sandy Hook provoke us to ponder. We should not, however, utilize this anniversary to remind ourselves (as if we ever had a moment to forget) that these questions run deep in our collective consciousness. This anniversary is Newton’s anniversary. The questions that need to be asked about this tragedy may be ours, but the grief that accompanies this anniversary is not about us and we must be clear about that distinction. I believe that clarity is the only thing separating us from respecting those who are filled with grief and those who wish to watch from the sidelines.

And for those of us who want to be supportive, often times that simply means listening and giving people the space they have requested.

Joseph M. Primo, MDiv.

CEO | Good Grief

38 Elm Street | Morristown | NJ | 07960

12 Stockton St. | Princeton | NJ | 08540

908.522.1999 x8011

                                                                                   

Are We Hard Hearted or Just Tired?

The week began with another school shooting, this time in Nevada. The investigation is continuing as information about the person who committed the crime is gathered, sifted, checked for accuracy and finally released to the public.

I remember back in December when the Newtown shootings occurred. The news was on every station. As the day progressed, pictures of the children, teachers, and other school personnel who were killed appeared on television. Extensive coverage continued through the weekend and into the next week as memorial services and funerals were conducted.

Anytime there is a school shooting my heart trembles. My oldest daughter is a teacher in Denver. Her passion for teaching and compassion for her students far exceeds any expectations a principal might request. She loves and cares for the children as if they were her own.

What distressed me about the shooting, and other school shootings that have occurred since Newtown, is that these events are reported almost nonchalantly--as if we are 'getting used' to such occurrences. Is it "no big deal' anymore that lives are lost in tragic circumstances with consequent emotional harm given to those who witness or survive? I have heard very little since about the shootings, compared to the barrage of coverage that occurred in December.

Are our hearts hardened to loss of life or are we just weary of so much tragedy that happens in our own lives and in the lives of others all around the country. Are those in the news media also weary, reducing their coverage of these tragic events that happen way too often.


Jacquie

Prayer Requests

An Iranian court rejected pastor SAEED ABEDINI's appeal for a shortened sentence, increasing the likelihood he will serve eight years in Iran's notorious Evin Prison. Abedini, 33, is an American citizen who was arrested last year while visiting Iran to set up a government-approved orphanage. Abedini's wife, Naghmeh, called the court's decision "devastating" for her and her two children. Abedini's legal counsel said the ruling amounts to a death sentenceunless the Tehran Supreme Court intervenes. 

Pray for Saeed Abedini and his family.

North Korea rescinded its invitation for a U.S. envoy to visit imprisoned American citizen KENNETH BAE. Bob King, the U.S. special envoy for North Korean human rights, had been scheduled to travel from Tokyo to Pyongyang to seek Bae's release. North Korea, which blamed the U.S. for the cancellation, accused Bae, a Christian, of subversion and sentenced him in April to 15 years of hard labor. Bae has since lost 50 pounds and was hospitalized with a variety of health problems.

Pray for Kenneth Bae.

May God's Grace Be With You,

Kathy

Listening for the Plan

I'm a planner. Before I go to bed, I pick out my clothes for the next day. Before I go to the grocery, I have a good idea what I'm going to buy. In my job, I plan constantly. When my kids were at home, I confess, I planned for them too. So, maybe like you, I'm good at thinking things through and going on the offensive to actively engage the world. And I'm a pretty good listener --even did it professionally for a while. But what I'm not so good at is listening for God's plan for me.

It's hard for me to wait for God's still small voice. It makes me feel that I'm not really doing anything. On one level, I know that's not true, but I feel that way nonetheless. And I know that I would benefit if I stopped to listen for God. It's still hard.

How can we listen for God? How can we stop crowding out God's voice. We in the church can be especially good at doing things for God and not with God. Here are a couple of things that are helping me.

First, I'm reading the Bible more. As I read, I imagine that I is God's personal communication to me. What's God trying to say?

Second, sometimes, I just have to stop what I'm doing and pay attention to the beauty around me.

Third, I look at the people around me as reflections of God's glory. What is God trying to say through them about his plan for me?

Fourth, I find ways to reach out and serve others, expecting nothing in return.

What is God's plan for me today? It's to be open to see the deep needs of others and offer out loud) to pray for them.

Where is God leading you? What helps you listen for God's plan?

Grace, Kathy

PRAY FOR PASTOR ABEDINI IN IRAN

PRAY FOR PASTOR ABEDINI IN IRAN

Since September, 2012, the Rev. Saeed Abedini, 32-year-old Iranian-American pastor has languished in Tehran's notorious Evin prison on national security charges for leading the underground house-church movement. On January 27, 2013, Rev. Abedini was sentenced to eight years in prison. Abedini's wife and two young children are in Idaho. The U.S. Commission on International Religious Freedom labeled the charges against Abedini "bogus" and asserted they were used "to suppress religious belief and activity of which the Iranian government does not approve."

Pray for the release of Rev. Abedini!

(From a report in WORLD magazine, Feb. 9, 2013 issue.)

One way we can help is to post this everywhere we know. The more visible  Pastor Abedini is, the more likely the Iranians might be inclined to release him. At least, he and his family may find out that they are not forgotten by the Church.

Grace, Kathy

Inaugural Prayer Service

Did you watch the Inaugural Prayer Service broadcast yesterday? If so, I'm sure you'd agree that there were many moving moments. And no one could miss the diversity of all types, not just religious. For me, one of the most poignant moments was when a Jew and Muslim appeared on the podium together and each prayed for peace.

Adam Hamilton, pastor of the United Methodist Church of the Resurrection, preached the sermon. It was brief and to the point--three points actually. Plain words but profound nonetheless. Adam's words could not be misunderstood. We need a clear vision that we all can agree on together before we can be the nation we are called to be, the nation we want to be. He also told of how people are coming together for mission in his congregation to eliminate child poverty in his part of the country. No matter what their political affiliation or views, his church agreed that they needed to do what they could to help kids. So Church of the Resurrection is partnering with the school system to paint classrooms, tutor kids, send meals home on the weekends in backpacks, and even provide kids with their own bed at home. While Adam Hamilton meant only to illustrate his point, his church can be an example for all of our churches, not just our government.

Yesterday was a good day to be an American. The service was full of pageantry and wonderful music. And it was clear that the congregation was touched. But emotions will fade. What we need is for us all to recommit ourselves to being good citizens and work toward the common good together no matter how you voted. I plan to write my Congress people and tell them just that. I hope you do as well.

Pray for our nation.

Grace, Kathy

Caring for Veterans and Their Families

Millions of our men and women are veterans. Some of our pastors and their family members serve the military as well.Clergy families are not exempt.Some have been deployed (multiple times) to Iraq and Afghanistan recently, some are retired military, and some continue to serve in the Reserves. Over 6,600  warriors have died and will not return at all. More that 48,000 have sustained war injuries and 45,000 are returning with Purple Hearts. But all returning service members and their families will experience the challenge of re-entry as they leave the war zone and their buddies to return to a new normal.

As you may have heard in the media, there is a serious issue regarding veterans and suicide. War is not a spectator sport. It harms everyone involved, even those who are there to help. Yet, we are fortunate that our soldiers can come home to peace.

Churches are in a unique position to help. While Vet Centers are helpful (1-877-War-Vets; www.vetcenter.va.gov), they do not have the reach of churches. There are churches everywhere. If you want to help, contact our United Methodist Endorsing Agency at www.gbhem.org. They have some excellent resources and suggestions. Pastors and other caregivers can also need help. Often the helpers are the last to recognize their own struggles and needs.

What do our returning warriors need? Welcome, hospitality, a pat on the back, a listening ear, prayer; but also there's a good chance they will also need a job. There is also a good chance that they will return with some kind of injury (physical, emotional, relational, spiritual, and/or moral).

Here are a couple things any church can do: offer healing services, preach and teach about forgiveness, pray for them as part of the pastoral prayer. But here are also some things you don't want to say:
"How was the war?" "Did you kill anyone?" "Did you see anyone die?" "Were you scared?" "Did you lose buddies over there?" These questions are certainly not for casual conversation at the fellowship dinner.

There are literally tons of resources. If you need help finding them, let me know.

Grace, Kathy

Appointment Time Decisions

Do we stay or do we go? Do we even get a choice?

Across the connection Staff Parish Relations Committees and Pastor Parish Relations Committees are meeting in this annual ritual to evaluate and vote about what the church wants to do with the pastor--keep or send packing.

This certainly can be a stressful time for clergy families. I know that one of my kids once said that she felt that even she was being sized up during these times.

At our current church, things are going well; so I've chosen not to worry about it. But in times past, when I had a definite opinion about either staying or leaving, I wasn't as nonchalant.

I have seen SPRCs be sensitive to the clergy family needs and others who really don't care much. I've seen SPRCs be helpful to the congregation and others who have sabotaged the congregation's wishes. I wouldn't say it is a crap shoot, but it sometimes feels that way. Through the process, I've seen helpful DSs and jealous, power hungry ones.

I had another spouse tell me that if pastors have a difficult time with the SPRC, it's their own fault, because they select committee members. I love this person, but she is naive at this point.The Church is a very human institution despite also being a vehicle for God's grace. And the appointment process is very imperfect. If you are looking for me to say that "Even if the process is imperfect, it's the best we can do under the circumstances," I can't. The process is imperfect but surely we can do better--and a good dose of prayer with some humility wouldn't hurt either.

So, please know that I am praying for you. And I invite you to pray as well that we embody God's love during, what can be, difficult times.

Grace, Kathy

From Eric and Liz Soard: Missionaries in Africa

Smelling the Roses by Sticking My Nose in the Dirt

For probably the first time since we have been here we really don’t have that much to share about what has happened in the last month. We have spent much of our time on the road, Dar es Salaam to Mwanza to Tarime to Nairobi to Tarime to Musoma to Mwanza to…I think you get the idea. The time that hasn’t been spent on the road has been spent on Christmas. However we, like many of you, are busy preparing for 2013. We are smelling, not the roses that are already blooming, but the ones that have been planted in rich dirt and are waiting to grow.

I wanted to share some of what we are looking forward to in 2013:

1.Starting a publishing group that will help create resources for the pastors and Christians in the Tanzanian Conference to grow in their faith.
2. New churches in communities that really have a need for a community based church.
3. Marriage classes in communities that still follow traditional marriage practices leading to unhappy and sometimes dangerous home situations.
4. A new development committee for the district that will be equipped to visit individual churches and help them see the needs and strengths of their churches and communities.
5. A young leaders mentoring group to bring together young leaders in the church who will have an impact now and for a long time to come.
6. The Emmanuel Center for Women and Children in Gamasara. It will see a slow, but hopefully steady start to address the issues of women’s and children’s rights and education in Gamasara.
7. Volunteer teams that will come and help with some of these projects.

Now that is a lot going on and we know how plans actually work out after we make them, however, the real roses we see starting to grow are the people we work with. We have agreed as a family and ministry that 2013 will be a time to invest in people. We want to grow our love for the people we are in relationships with now as well as the new people we will meet this year. We want to not shy away from the hard work of loving others that God has for us, but to be able to change our lives so that they help us have the time and energy to love the people God puts into our lives in the coming year.

Wherever you are we hope you can join us in that commitment this year. If you want to join us in other commitments this year please feel free to contact us and ask how you can help, support us, or be in prayer for the ministries that will fill our hearts and minds in 2013.

Six “T’s” for Helping Kids through Trauma

Today, an unspeakable tragedy took place at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. Fox News reports that 26 people are dead; 20 of the victims are elementary age children. It's horrifying, mind-boggling and surreal—an unspeakable evil and every parent’s nightmare. Pray for the families of the victims and the entire community of Newtown during this confusing and desperate time. Around the dinner table tonight, there will be many conversations about why tragedies like this happen... and questions from kids about whether or not they're safe, especially at school. As one mother on the scene put it, "I'm in a state of shock. I don’t know how I'm going to handle having [my daughter] know... about the whole situation." Trauma is best understood as any event that shatters our sense of safety. Immediately, one can become hyper vigilant—overly sensitive and set on emotional alert. Fear rules, especially in kids. The pictures online screamed of the horror. In these moments, children need adults who are attuned to their emotions and tender to their needs. Six "T's" for Helping Kids through Trauma Togetherness. This is a night where your kids need to have you close. They need to know they're safe. Pull in together as a family. Pray together. Be together. The antidote to trauma is safe, loving relationships. Coddle your children a little bit more. Stay in close proximity to them, particularly if they’re anxious or afraid. Touch and Tenderness. Touch is an expression of affection that reinforces proximity and closeness. It produces a calming affect. Fear makes our minds race and wander, but tender touch dispels it. Hold a hand. Stroke your children's hair. Let them sit in your lap. Wrap your arms around them. Kiss them. Be present emotionally. If they’re acting out a little bit with anger, rebellion or defiance, it very well could be a fear response. Be sensitive to their behavior. Talk. The questions will come: "Will a shooter come to my school?" "Why did he hurt those kids?" Be present, sensitive, and don’t offer pat answers. Engage them in age-appropriate discussion. Contrary to what many of us believe, talk doesn't perpetuate anxiety—it helps to reduce it. Avoid graphic details, but don’t skirt around the issue. Become a safe place for them to bring their questions. Truth. Fears of the unknown can paralyze us. Anchor their hearts in truths like, "Not everyone in the world is bad. You're safe now. God loves us and is close to us." Remember, our kids absorb us. Your mood, thoughts, and actions directly influence theirs. These truths flow through you–Mom and/or Dad. Share the promises of God's Word with your kids. Pray for, and with, them. Triggers. Someone screaming. A door slamming. A siren. What children experience or see on the news can deeply affect them. Don't let your kids get overdosed with the news stories and all the gory details. This can lead to nightmares, excessive bouts of crying, deepening fear, and not wanting to attend school. Be attuned to your children. Don’t react to their emotions, respond lovingly. Time. Don't rush or ignore this process. Over the next several days, we will all be flooded with information about the shooting. Keep your life as normal as possible. Sameness and routine reinforce the message of safety for your kids. Your family stability over time will help dispel their fears. Our children are not immune to the darkness and brokenness of our world. We may think that if we ignore this incident, our kids won’t know about it or feel the impact. Nothing could be further from the truth! Our kids need parents and teachers—those who have influence in their lives—to be emotionally present and invested, especially in moments like these. Rev. Dr. Mark Crear is founder and president of Mark Crear Ministries. He is a minister, author, Christian counselor/trainer/speaker and Olympian. Mark is Chair of the Black American Association of Christian Counselors and Director of Counseling for The Family Church International. info@markcrear.com.

A Star Still Shines

Periodically, I  purchase a caffeine free diet Coke when I get gasoline. Today when I paid for my drink, the familiar clerk asked, "How are you today?"

"I am doing well.  I don't think anyone can complain after yesterday." I replied.

"Yes, yesterday was such a beautiful day." the clerk answered.

I stopped for a moment, depositing my change, and thought, his perspective is clearly  different from mine. I  expected a comment related to the horrific school shootings, but his perspective was the great sunny day in mid-December with temperatures near 50, which is unusual in Indiana.

Perhaps the shootings were extra close to my heart because my oldest daughter is an elementary school teacher in Colorado. I know how passionate she is about teaching and how dearly she loves her students. I texted her immediately when I heard about the tragedy and she texted back how hard the day was , so far away from the school in Connecticut, but so close in circumstance.

Perspective influences how we respond to such events. I noticed in news clips toward the evening that several churches in the small Connecticut town were having services so that people could come together, to mourn and look to God for compassion, love, and companionship that will be needed in the days, weeks, months and even years ahead. The Fishers United Methodist church was open from 7-9 Friday night with one of the pastors available for discussion and prayer.  

Looking to God, not necessarily for answers to unanswerable questions, but for comfort and strength to work through the shock and horror of events that happen far too often, is the only way to walk through the varied emotions and deep grief present in families who suffer loss.  

Tomorrow will be the third Sunday in Advent -- the image that is with me today is the star over the stable -- we might name our stable, but the bright star that was so clear that night, still beckons all to come, to come to the one is life, and light, and love.

Let everyone pray not only for families touched in any way by the shootings at the school, but for all priests, pastors, rabbis, and other religious leaders who will offer care to these individuals.

Jacquie Reed 

Fishers, Indiana

This Fig Tree Is not Blossoming

Recently I spoke with a staff member of a small membership church. Because I've known him for a long time, I asked how things were going. He responded saying that the church was out of the way so membership was dwindling; there were no youth and only a few children. (And that was on a good Sunday.) The church was doing absolutely nothing as far as mission and he expected it to die soon, because the aging membership wouldn't be able to keep things going much longer.

Naturally, I shook my head in sympathy. But as I drove home this thought occurred to me; that church is only 10 minutes away from thousands of people. Not only that, there is a brand new subdivision with upscale homes just down the road. Maybe at one time the church was "out of the way," but not any more. And our church has people driving by his church to come to ours. So people will drive to go to church.

Then I remembered what he said about the church doing "absolutely nothing as far as mission." With that thought, my sympathy morphed into anger. What would you expect when a church acts like it is invisible to the community? And to think that he accepted all this as though nothing could be done about it. Or maybe he'd given up.

A very sad commentary on Christianity in some churches today. But whose's responsibility is it to wake up this church and its staff? The pastor's and/or staff's? The lay leadership? The District Superintendent's? The bishop's?

Whoever it is, one thing is clear, the people related to this church are not opening their hearts to God. Because this is a spiritual issue and not an organizational or programmatic problem. You cannot tell me that God doesn't want that church, or any church, in mission and ministry beyond its own walls. The church is the Body of Christ--a living, breathing group of faithful believers. Sounds like this church has cut itself off from the Body and is dead already. Just remember Jesus' warning to the unfruitful fig tree.

What would you do if this was your church? Or has it been your church already?

Grace, Kathy

What Else Can You Say?

Last night a couple friends and I listened to another friend talk about her persisting and serious injuries after a recent car accident. One person finally said, "Well, it could be worse. At least you can still walk." But before she had all those words out, another voice spoke up. "Just let her be angry for a while."

Truer words were never spoken. Just let her be angry for a while. Don't point prematurely to the "sunny side." Don't move the conversation elsewhere, perhaps to make yourself more comfortable. There is nothing wrong with feeling angry.

In the Church we seem to have a problem with angry people. It's as though anger and Christianity don't mix, or we think of an angry Christian as an oxymoron.

Expressing angry feelings is healthy. Acting out, lashing out from or in anger is not. Anger can motivate us to seek out God in a deeper way or it can be a launch pad for sin.

If we don't find a healthy way to express our anger and, instead, turn the anger inward where is gnaws at our soul in its dark recesses, we will become depressed. Perhaps seriously so. Holding on to anger by keeping it hidden is one reason there are so many depressed clergy and clergy spouses. Unexpressed anger just creates a cesspool of hurt.

So what else can you say? And what did we finally say to our friend? How about, "How can we pray for you?"

Grace, Kathy

Help and Thank You Prayers

Anne Lamott says that there are only 2 kinds of prayers: Help me and Thank you, Lord.
Like many of you, I have friends and family on the East Coast. And like you, I was seriously praying for them before, during, and after the storm. Thankfully everyone in my family is ok. But I'm still praying, because there are a lot of people who are not.

And I have no doubt the UMCOR is there, as well as other help from churches across the country. Perhaps your church is providing direct assistance.

While Anne says there are only 2 kinds of prayers, and perhaps there are if you only think prayer is talking to God. But prayer is also listening to God and talking things over with him. As we rebuild devastated parts of our country and head toward the election, I hope a lot of us doing more listening than talking to God.

Grace, Kathy

Prayers for Another Fourteen Year-old

Last week our church buried a brave 14 year-old girl who lost her battle with cancer. This week we pray for another 14 year-old, who is fighting for her life and for the rights of girls to attend school in Pakistan.

You've surely seen the news report, but she is Malala Yousufzai. Malala had blogged against the Taliban and was shot for her courageous efforts.

We pray for Malala, her family, and her country.

Grace, Kathy

Hero Speaks Out Where Girls Don't Count

How does someone become a hero? Consider Razia Jan, a woman fighting to educate girls in rural Afghanistan and standing up for what is right. She is a hero in a difficult and life-threatening situation, serving her community.

We look at our own daughters and consider them as precious, as smart, as worthy as sons. But we all know that it isn't the case everywhere. In some parts of the world, girls don't count as people. While tragic for both the girls and their communities, in parts of the world educating them is criminal. It takes courage and deep conviction to stand up and speak up for those who would have no chance otherwise. In rural Afghanistan, the person, that woman, is Razia Jan.

While we may not suffer that kind prejudice, there are even places in our country where some people count for less than others. There might be some church members worth less than others in your own church.

Please pray for the girls and women in Afghanistan. And please pray that we might be more like Razia Jan and have the God-given courage to stand and speak out for our convictions. But more than that, help us engage those with contrary convictions so that we can find common cause for justice.

If you know of a hero in your church or community that you'd like us to honor, please send the name and a brief statement why.


Grace, Kathy

9/11

Even if you did not see the Twin Towers fall as it was played and replayed on television, surely you recall the empty skies for days afterward. A friend of mine who works in New York City said that for weeks there was a dusty haze that blanketed
everything. Another friend said it was months before he saw a child at any airport. And now it has been years.

During that time my daughter's high school band had accepted an invitation to march in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. They were supposed to fly to NYC, but we parents made them hire buses instead. Several kids didn't get to go because of parental worries. But nothing would keep my child home, so our family fretted but proudly watched the band on TV.

We probably all have a story. Many of us know someone who was killed. We have all been effected. As we go about our daily routine today, let us remember what it means to be an American. Let us pray for those who still grieve, but let us also pray for our enemies.

Grace,
Kathy