Several years ago, I was chair of the conference spouses' retreat committee. As we surveyed folks to find their interests, someone gave me a hand-written note. The person requested that the main speaker be someone whose spouse had failed in ministry, someone who had not successfully climbed the church corporate ladder, someone who had landed and whose ministry had remained in a small-membership church. The person felt she couldn't relate to someone who was "successful" in ministry.
As I thought about the request and the mix of wives (predominately) who attended the retreat, it began to make sense. And it wasn't a pretty picture. Some of these wives really felt that their spouses had been passed by and passed over. They felt that after sacrificing so much, they were relegated to the list of failures, those without leadership qualities or future opportunities. I almost cried and it seemed unfair.
So what counts for success in the local church? Is it the church size and salary? We may say "no,' but when our conference had a bishop who didn't pay attention to appointing clergy advance up the line to larger and larger churches, there was consternation from all sides. So our lips say "no," but our actions say "yes." Who wants their salary cut $10,000 to $20,000? And that happened to some. Then we also had some whose salary increased by the same amount.
We all know that some ministry happens best in small churches. And it better, because about 70-80% of our churches are small. But surely this can't mean that 80% of our pastors are failures if they don't move beyond a small-membership church.
While churches of all sizes have their burdens, the small church definitively does, especially if it is dying. In part, because as the church dies, so does part of the pastor's soul. And pastors and spouses tire out from doing CPR all the time, 24/7.
So what can we do? We can try to change of definition of what constitutes success, but like any platitude, that's too easy. We need our bishops and DSs be more supportive and quit shooting its wounded or perceived wounded clergy. We need to stop blaming pastors and start offering life-support, personally and professionally. We need to pay for pastors so that they can afford to take a sabbatical. A sabbatical shouldn't only be a luxury for a mega-church pastor. We need to stop wringing our hands about money and saying ad nausium that the UMC is dying. Who wants to serve a dying church? (I believe there is a book by that title.) We need to invest in Healthy Congregations. We need to invest in our clergy and stop treating them as though they are the problem.
What can we do? A lot. But it will take all of us.
Grace, Kathy
Showing posts with label burnout. Show all posts
Showing posts with label burnout. Show all posts
May 16, 2014
March 4, 2014
Rekindling Your Flame
Every Monday, our Sunday School leadership sends out an email to all teachers. The thoughts below are from last Monday's email. The phrase that really caught my attention was "I'm not sure if it has been this brutally cold winter or just time in the valley..." With so much winter this year and with so many sick, who doesn't need a rekindled flame. Thought you'd enjoy her words of encouragement.
"John 15:5-8
The Message (MSG)
5-8 “I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me
and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant.
Separated, you can’t produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood,
gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with
me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will
be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you
produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.
Good morning everyone,
Have you seen those Charter commercials that
start with, "When your cable goes out...."? And then it follows a downward
progression to some absurd, but funny ending. Have you ever thought that
the same example could be used for our spiritual life? I think it would go
something like this: When our flame goes out, we get stressed and depressed.
And when we get stressed and depressed we try to take things into our own
hands. And when we take things into our own hands, we make bad choices.
And when we make bad choices, we think we are failures. And when we
think we are failures, we get in a rut. Don't get in a rut. Ask God back
into your life and get in the groove!
I'm not sure if it has been this brutally cold
winter or just time in the valley, but I have noticed a lot of people who
seem to have lost their flame. God tells us we will have highs and lows,
but no matter the season, we must draw near to Him. I pray that we
reconnect to the life-sustaining Vine so we can produce much fruit for the
Kingdom!"
Grace, Kath
October 25, 2013
Are We Hard Hearted or Just Tired?
The week began with another school shooting, this time in Nevada. The investigation is continuing as information about the person who committed the crime is gathered, sifted, checked for accuracy and finally released to the public.
I remember back in December when the Newtown shootings occurred. The news was on every station. As the day progressed, pictures of the children, teachers, and other school personnel who were killed appeared on television. Extensive coverage continued through the weekend and into the next week as memorial services and funerals were conducted.
Anytime there is a school shooting my heart trembles. My oldest daughter is a teacher in Denver. Her passion for teaching and compassion for her students far exceeds any expectations a principal might request. She loves and cares for the children as if they were her own.
What distressed me about the shooting, and other school shootings that have occurred since Newtown, is that these events are reported almost nonchalantly--as if we are 'getting used' to such occurrences. Is it "no big deal' anymore that lives are lost in tragic circumstances with consequent emotional harm given to those who witness or survive? I have heard very little since about the shootings, compared to the barrage of coverage that occurred in December.
Are our hearts hardened to loss of life or are we just weary of so much tragedy that happens in our own lives and in the lives of others all around the country. Are those in the news media also weary, reducing their coverage of these tragic events that happen way too often.
Jacquie
October 9, 2012
Clergy Depression
We continue to hear a lot about clergy not taking care of themselves. This self-neglect makes them expensive to insure (sometimes almost prohibitively so)and cuts short their ministry. While most concerns, at least in our conference, center on lack of exercise and excess weight, clergy depression still goes unappreciated and under-reported. Why is this so?
For many people, depression is "just" a mental "thing" or merely feelings of sadness. No, depression is not being able to get out of bed in the morning, or eating too much, sleeping too much or too little, feeling drained all the time, or feeling empty and bored with life much of the time often with no identifiable cause, having too much or too little desire. Depression is a real illness that effects a person's spiritual, emotional, physical, relational, and intellectual life.
And pastors are more prone than average to be depressed, in part because they minister to large numbers of other depressed persons. You can know that you are around a person who is depressed, because they just wear you out. If you are surrounded by lots of depressed people (in the jail, in the hospital, in the pastor's study, in the nursing home, in the funeral home), you need to pay attention that you and your spouse don't get worn out beyond recognition.
What can you do? First recognize when you are being drained by interactions with people. Try not to schedule too much in too short a period of time, so you can give yourself time to decompress. Do not grab another bite of cake or an extra cookie, but take a walk instead. Get outside. Do something you enjoy with friends and family. Call or email or text a friend. Renew a friendship or deepen an acquaintance. Make sure you have something to look forward too. Learn something new about the Bible. Start a blog. Contribute to this one. Listen to some good music. Play with the kids or help them with homework. Get inspired. Find your passion. Identify hope in your life.
But if you are depressed and have been feeling down and out-of-sorts for over six months, check with your doctor. Pastors are too valuable to be wasted.
Grace, Kathy
For many people, depression is "just" a mental "thing" or merely feelings of sadness. No, depression is not being able to get out of bed in the morning, or eating too much, sleeping too much or too little, feeling drained all the time, or feeling empty and bored with life much of the time often with no identifiable cause, having too much or too little desire. Depression is a real illness that effects a person's spiritual, emotional, physical, relational, and intellectual life.
And pastors are more prone than average to be depressed, in part because they minister to large numbers of other depressed persons. You can know that you are around a person who is depressed, because they just wear you out. If you are surrounded by lots of depressed people (in the jail, in the hospital, in the pastor's study, in the nursing home, in the funeral home), you need to pay attention that you and your spouse don't get worn out beyond recognition.
What can you do? First recognize when you are being drained by interactions with people. Try not to schedule too much in too short a period of time, so you can give yourself time to decompress. Do not grab another bite of cake or an extra cookie, but take a walk instead. Get outside. Do something you enjoy with friends and family. Call or email or text a friend. Renew a friendship or deepen an acquaintance. Make sure you have something to look forward too. Learn something new about the Bible. Start a blog. Contribute to this one. Listen to some good music. Play with the kids or help them with homework. Get inspired. Find your passion. Identify hope in your life.
But if you are depressed and have been feeling down and out-of-sorts for over six months, check with your doctor. Pastors are too valuable to be wasted.
Grace, Kathy
July 26, 2012
Fighting Clergy Depression
With so many toxic and unhealthy churches, it's a wonder there isn't more clergy depression. But if you suspect that your clergy spouse is depressed, how can you know for sure?
Depression is a serious illness that requires professional help. It is more that just feeling bad or out of sorts for a day or two, Depression persists--sometimes for years. And often family members are the last--yes, the last--to notice.
But here are some clues to watch for in your adult loved ones. Please note that kids and youth are another matter.
1. Too much eating or loss of interest in eating
2. Too much sleeping but still feeling tired no matter how much sleep
3. Loss of interest in sex
4. Inordinate feelings of constant helplessness or anxiety
5. New, increased, highly ritualized compulsive behaviors
6. Unexplained sadness, feelings of guilt and/or despair
7. Talking or thinking about suicide
8. Unexplained physical illness and/or pain
9. Increased desire to be alone and/or disconnecting from significant relationships.
10. Spiritual ennui, listlessness, lack of focus or concentration
Often these clues are a matter of degree and they can appear together. Because we are physical, emotional, relational, rational, spiritual beings, a disturbance in one area will show up in the other areas as well.
In our churches, we're not good at talking about depression--much less clergy depression. But it is common. So take care. Even a healthy church drains clergy and families--an unhealthy church will suck the life out of you. So if you're in trouble, reach out to a trusted professional. If you need a counselor, you can go to the American Association of Pastoral Counselors website and find someone in your area.
Grace, Kathy
Depression is a serious illness that requires professional help. It is more that just feeling bad or out of sorts for a day or two, Depression persists--sometimes for years. And often family members are the last--yes, the last--to notice.
But here are some clues to watch for in your adult loved ones. Please note that kids and youth are another matter.
1. Too much eating or loss of interest in eating
2. Too much sleeping but still feeling tired no matter how much sleep
3. Loss of interest in sex
4. Inordinate feelings of constant helplessness or anxiety
5. New, increased, highly ritualized compulsive behaviors
6. Unexplained sadness, feelings of guilt and/or despair
7. Talking or thinking about suicide
8. Unexplained physical illness and/or pain
9. Increased desire to be alone and/or disconnecting from significant relationships.
10. Spiritual ennui, listlessness, lack of focus or concentration
Often these clues are a matter of degree and they can appear together. Because we are physical, emotional, relational, rational, spiritual beings, a disturbance in one area will show up in the other areas as well.
In our churches, we're not good at talking about depression--much less clergy depression. But it is common. So take care. Even a healthy church drains clergy and families--an unhealthy church will suck the life out of you. So if you're in trouble, reach out to a trusted professional. If you need a counselor, you can go to the American Association of Pastoral Counselors website and find someone in your area.
Grace, Kathy
August 25, 2010
Soul Care and the Cause of Clergy Burnout
This recent article from the Huffington Post is by Anne Dilenschneider.
There's been quite an interest lately in clergy burnout in the media. The New York Times has published several pieces on the subject: "Taking a Break from the Lord's Work" by Paul Vitello, and "Congregations Gone Wild" by G. Jeffrey MacDonald. The Clergy Health Initiative at Duke Divinity School has published a new report on the poor mental and physical health of pastors. NPR has featured interviews on the subject. Remedies range from developing better boundaries to engaging in self-care to putting the brakes on the demands of congregation members.
There certainly is cause for concern. However, my doctoral research on transformational leadership and the spiritual life of pastors, as well as 12 years of consulting in the field, show that the causes of clergy burnout and poor mental and physical health are far deeper than poor boundaries, or the failure to engage in self-care, or the seemingly insatiable desires of congregations. Burnout and poor health are symptoms of a far deeper "dis-ease" of soul that has plagued clergy for nearly 100 years. They are symptoms of starvation. Addressing the symptoms of burnout does not get to the root of this serious matter.
Pastors who are effective and get things done are considered "successful." Denominations, including The United Methodist Church, focus on results that can be measured (e.g., increased membership and the congregation's financial well-being). Yet numerous studies over the past 20 years reveal that this approach is, literally, killing clergy and, by extension, churches and denominations.
When examined more deeply, it turns out that the current emphasis on clergy effectiveness is due to a change in the role of pastors that occurred in the 1920s concomitant with the development of the assembly line and the adoption of the production efficiency methodology of Taylorism in corporate America. At that time, as Richard Niebuhr observed, clergy became "pastoral directors" who focused on the administrative tasks of managing and maintaining churches for the benefit of the denomination. And, as retired United Methodist bishop Richard Wilke has noted, by the 1960s, pastors were being evaluated on their "competency, acquired skills, and professional status."
Now we hear that burnout needs to be solved so that clergy can be effective. At the same time, the solutions that are being recommended, and have been recommended for decades, to mitigate the symptoms have not been enough. Far more is needed than firm boundaries or vacations or sabbaticals that are not true times of rest and renewal. Although The United Methodist Church allows for a sabbatical year every seven years, it is an unpaid year and health benefits are not covered, so clergy often have to work during their sabbatical year. The sabbatical programs offered by the Lilly Foundation and the Louisville Institute are generous, yet they still require the clergyperson to produce research as evidence of time well-spent. Ironically, the purpose of Sabbath, and sabbatical -- to rest from producing -- has been lost.
Efforts to improve clergy health for the purposes of increased effectiveness and production cannot cure what ails both clergy and congregations. To move towards true health, it is essential to get to the root cause by considering the role of clergy before the 1920s.Until the 1920s, the pastor was a cura animarum, the "cure of souls," or "curate" -- a person who cared for souls by helping people locate themselves in God's greater story. The first step in this work was the pastor's own attention to her or his soul-care through an intentional focus on her or his personal relationship with the Holy. Yet, as I learned as a participant in a Lilly Endowment convocation, seminaries focus on academics and do not train Protestant clergy in spirituality or spiritual formation. At most, even in 2010, only a handful of seminaries require a semester of study in this essential subject.
The rationale for this omission is the assumption -- which I have heard stated by many in seminary leadership -- that clergy receive spiritual formation in their home congregations. However, as Ezra Earl Jones, who headed the United Methodist General Board of Discipleship for 12 years, points out, churches are "places for programs" and because of this, pastors themselves "haven't known the church to be a place of spiritual formation." As a result of their own poverty in spiritual formation and relationship with God, pastors are not prepared to help people build relationships with God. As Jones told me:
"My data, largely about United Methodist pastors, confirms your learnings that our pastors in large part are not praying people. They do not practice the historic spiritual disciplines and therefore it is impossible for them to help those of us who look to them for guidance in the church to be praying people seeking God and love of neighbor."
Daily time and space for this inner work are essential for the health of clergy and congregations.
As Norman Shawchuck and Roger Heuser wrote in Leading the Congregation: Caring for Yourself While Serving Others, a congregation
"will not journey beyond the pastor; the congregation will not venture where the pastor is not leading. This is a hard saying. It would be more comfortable to work like the traffic cop -- to give a map or a few verbal instructions -- but spiritual formation is a case where only those who have eyes to see can lead."(p. 126)
The witness of spiritual directors over the centuries is that the leader's need to "make a difference" -- the need to find personal significance through effectiveness -- must be set aside in order to be "made different" -- the deeper need to discover one's renewed identity through relationship with God.
John Wesley, the eighteenth-century founder of the Methodists, wrote of his own spiritual disciplines and his daily time of solitude at 4:30 or 5:00 a.m.: "Here then I am, far from the busy ways of men. I sit down alone; only God is here, in his presence I open, I read his book; for this end, to find the way to heaven." In the letter he wrote to a pastor 250 years ago on August 7, 1760, Wesley clearly stated the importance of soul care for pastors: "[This is] what has exceedingly hurt you in times past, nay, and I fear, to this day ... Whether you like it or no, read and pray daily. It is for your life; there is no other way ... Do justice to your own soul; give it time and means to grow. Do not starve yourself any longer."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/anne-dilenschneider/soul-care-and-the-roots-o_b_680925.html
There's been quite an interest lately in clergy burnout in the media. The New York Times has published several pieces on the subject: "Taking a Break from the Lord's Work" by Paul Vitello, and "Congregations Gone Wild" by G. Jeffrey MacDonald. The Clergy Health Initiative at Duke Divinity School has published a new report on the poor mental and physical health of pastors. NPR has featured interviews on the subject. Remedies range from developing better boundaries to engaging in self-care to putting the brakes on the demands of congregation members.
There certainly is cause for concern. However, my doctoral research on transformational leadership and the spiritual life of pastors, as well as 12 years of consulting in the field, show that the causes of clergy burnout and poor mental and physical health are far deeper than poor boundaries, or the failure to engage in self-care, or the seemingly insatiable desires of congregations. Burnout and poor health are symptoms of a far deeper "dis-ease" of soul that has plagued clergy for nearly 100 years. They are symptoms of starvation. Addressing the symptoms of burnout does not get to the root of this serious matter.
Pastors who are effective and get things done are considered "successful." Denominations, including The United Methodist Church, focus on results that can be measured (e.g., increased membership and the congregation's financial well-being). Yet numerous studies over the past 20 years reveal that this approach is, literally, killing clergy and, by extension, churches and denominations.
When examined more deeply, it turns out that the current emphasis on clergy effectiveness is due to a change in the role of pastors that occurred in the 1920s concomitant with the development of the assembly line and the adoption of the production efficiency methodology of Taylorism in corporate America. At that time, as Richard Niebuhr observed, clergy became "pastoral directors" who focused on the administrative tasks of managing and maintaining churches for the benefit of the denomination. And, as retired United Methodist bishop Richard Wilke has noted, by the 1960s, pastors were being evaluated on their "competency, acquired skills, and professional status."
Now we hear that burnout needs to be solved so that clergy can be effective. At the same time, the solutions that are being recommended, and have been recommended for decades, to mitigate the symptoms have not been enough. Far more is needed than firm boundaries or vacations or sabbaticals that are not true times of rest and renewal. Although The United Methodist Church allows for a sabbatical year every seven years, it is an unpaid year and health benefits are not covered, so clergy often have to work during their sabbatical year. The sabbatical programs offered by the Lilly Foundation and the Louisville Institute are generous, yet they still require the clergyperson to produce research as evidence of time well-spent. Ironically, the purpose of Sabbath, and sabbatical -- to rest from producing -- has been lost.
Efforts to improve clergy health for the purposes of increased effectiveness and production cannot cure what ails both clergy and congregations. To move towards true health, it is essential to get to the root cause by considering the role of clergy before the 1920s.Until the 1920s, the pastor was a cura animarum, the "cure of souls," or "curate" -- a person who cared for souls by helping people locate themselves in God's greater story. The first step in this work was the pastor's own attention to her or his soul-care through an intentional focus on her or his personal relationship with the Holy. Yet, as I learned as a participant in a Lilly Endowment convocation, seminaries focus on academics and do not train Protestant clergy in spirituality or spiritual formation. At most, even in 2010, only a handful of seminaries require a semester of study in this essential subject.
The rationale for this omission is the assumption -- which I have heard stated by many in seminary leadership -- that clergy receive spiritual formation in their home congregations. However, as Ezra Earl Jones, who headed the United Methodist General Board of Discipleship for 12 years, points out, churches are "places for programs" and because of this, pastors themselves "haven't known the church to be a place of spiritual formation." As a result of their own poverty in spiritual formation and relationship with God, pastors are not prepared to help people build relationships with God. As Jones told me:
"My data, largely about United Methodist pastors, confirms your learnings that our pastors in large part are not praying people. They do not practice the historic spiritual disciplines and therefore it is impossible for them to help those of us who look to them for guidance in the church to be praying people seeking God and love of neighbor."
Daily time and space for this inner work are essential for the health of clergy and congregations.
As Norman Shawchuck and Roger Heuser wrote in Leading the Congregation: Caring for Yourself While Serving Others, a congregation
"will not journey beyond the pastor; the congregation will not venture where the pastor is not leading. This is a hard saying. It would be more comfortable to work like the traffic cop -- to give a map or a few verbal instructions -- but spiritual formation is a case where only those who have eyes to see can lead."(p. 126)
The witness of spiritual directors over the centuries is that the leader's need to "make a difference" -- the need to find personal significance through effectiveness -- must be set aside in order to be "made different" -- the deeper need to discover one's renewed identity through relationship with God.
John Wesley, the eighteenth-century founder of the Methodists, wrote of his own spiritual disciplines and his daily time of solitude at 4:30 or 5:00 a.m.: "Here then I am, far from the busy ways of men. I sit down alone; only God is here, in his presence I open, I read his book; for this end, to find the way to heaven." In the letter he wrote to a pastor 250 years ago on August 7, 1760, Wesley clearly stated the importance of soul care for pastors: "[This is] what has exceedingly hurt you in times past, nay, and I fear, to this day ... Whether you like it or no, read and pray daily. It is for your life; there is no other way ... Do justice to your own soul; give it time and means to grow. Do not starve yourself any longer."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/anne-dilenschneider/soul-care-and-the-roots-o_b_680925.html
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