Each year about this time, most spouses have either already asked or are still asking this question: Are we moving this year? In our conference, people are beginning to announce where they will be, so most everyone already knows. My spouse and I are staying at our church, which, while not a surprise, is still a relief.
There are many out-dated things about our UM system, but this has got to be one of them. Holding out the possibility of moving every year gets old and wears on the family. Because packing up a family and moving with all it involves, is an arduous undertaking. While, at least our conference, has said that the Cabinet does not want to move pastors "just because" and leave them for at least six years as a norm, about a third of our pastors still move each year. Go figure! Are there really that many toxic churches (probably? Maybe it's because the Cabinet doesn't do their job well in the first place--finding pastors and churches that match for maximum effectiveness.
Every year in the Spring, I usually clean closets and organize the house "just in case." While there is an upside to this, I do it mostly out of anxiety. Having moved a number of times, I want the transition to be as smooth as possible. Still it's a good chance to clean out clutter.
As you can probably tell, I'm not a big fan of pulling up stakes and moving. But I've also seen the toll that pastoring a toxic church has had on my spouse and children. I never would have chosen some of the places we've lived, but God is faithful.
Please join me as we pray for families moving this year.
Kathy
April 18, 2012
April 12, 2012
Free Book for a Limited Time
Free. Free. Get the new book by Mike Slaughter and Chuck Gutensen, Hijacked: Responding to the Partisan Church Divide . Here is the link:
http://www.amazon.com/Hijacked-Responding-Partisan-Church-ebook/dp/B006ZOYKXS/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1334237296&sr=8-2
Enjoy, Kathy
http://www.amazon.com/Hijacked-Responding-Partisan-Church-ebook/dp/B006ZOYKXS/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1334237296&sr=8-2
Enjoy, Kathy
Need a Little Feedback from You
Dear Friends, What do you like most about this blog? Are the issues that you would like it to address? Please also know that if you would like to write a post, you can send it to spouseconnect@gmail.com.
The goal of this blog is to inform and inspire, but also facilitate conversation among the spouse community.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Grace,
Kathy
The goal of this blog is to inform and inspire, but also facilitate conversation among the spouse community.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Grace,
Kathy
April 9, 2012
God's Supreme Act of Loving in Grace
Hope you had a wonderful Easter. So why did Jesus have to die for us? Did a cold, angry God demand Jesus' cruel sacrifice? How did Jesus' death and resurrection cancel our Sin? These are age-old questions that have to answered for each generation.
First, I don't think the death and resurrection can be separated, because they are of one cloth. Simply put, Jesus lived, died, and rose again because God's self-sacrificing love for us. Jesus' death made concrete how much God loves us. Like many hymns say, Jesus gave it all. Through a great act of love, God fulfilled our part of the covenant. God also does this in Genesis. See Genesis 15:12-21. Here God takes the part of the less power party in a contract "signing." In Jesus,' God made Himself vulnerable--the least, the last, and the lost.
When Jesus died and the temple curtain tore top to bottom, it means that God, Himself, tore it, undoing the separation between Him and us. That is the whole point, Jesus' death and resurrection, was a continuation of Jesus' life's work: to break down the barriers that we put up that separate us from God. But also to break down unhealthy barriers between us as people. That is the meaning of the word, Sin. It means separation from God. It took God to make our relationship with Him right. That is what the word "righteousness" means--right relationship.
No, God is not a cruel tyrant demanding innocent blood. God's extreme and extravagant love was personified in Jesus. And God can indwell in us as well if we are open to seeing and believing Jesus.
Happy Easter,
Kathy
First, I don't think the death and resurrection can be separated, because they are of one cloth. Simply put, Jesus lived, died, and rose again because God's self-sacrificing love for us. Jesus' death made concrete how much God loves us. Like many hymns say, Jesus gave it all. Through a great act of love, God fulfilled our part of the covenant. God also does this in Genesis. See Genesis 15:12-21. Here God takes the part of the less power party in a contract "signing." In Jesus,' God made Himself vulnerable--the least, the last, and the lost.
When Jesus died and the temple curtain tore top to bottom, it means that God, Himself, tore it, undoing the separation between Him and us. That is the whole point, Jesus' death and resurrection, was a continuation of Jesus' life's work: to break down the barriers that we put up that separate us from God. But also to break down unhealthy barriers between us as people. That is the meaning of the word, Sin. It means separation from God. It took God to make our relationship with Him right. That is what the word "righteousness" means--right relationship.
No, God is not a cruel tyrant demanding innocent blood. God's extreme and extravagant love was personified in Jesus. And God can indwell in us as well if we are open to seeing and believing Jesus.
Happy Easter,
Kathy
April 4, 2012
Connected to God -- Connected to Each Other
Last week, Mike, my husband and I attended the funeral of the mother of one of our clergy friends. Gladys was a clergy spouse, her husband a retired pastor. We were friends and mourned deeply the loss of this almost 95 year-old matriarch of a beautiful family.
Mike and I were invited to the dinner afterwards, appreciating the hospitality the church offered.
Reflecting on my experience that day, I recalled the words that I have heard since Mike began serving in the Indiana Conference back in 1976: "We are a connectional system." As I grow older, those words appear relevant in new ways. We sat at the dinner with the senior pastor of Mike's first appointment. Dick and his first wife, Phyllis mentored us lovingly during the 2 1/2 years Mike was part of their church. Later, during the service we sat with Peggy, whom we also knew, who was one of the three presiding pastors. Mike and I had mentored her husband, Andy, when he was a member of one of Mike's churches. Andy was a junior and senior in high school at the time. I can still hear the knock on our parsonage door--Andy wanting to talk to Mike about the way he was sensing God's call to ministry. Their visits in the parsonage occurred many times. Mike has been fortunate to serve in one conference during ministry, so our connections are long-lasting and deep.
I am thankful for Gladys' last gift to me--a clearer vision about what it means to be connected to God and connected to each other in ministry.
God, thank you for the ways our lives weave in and out and together in service to you across the miles. Amen.
Jacquie Reed Fishers, Indiana
Mike and I were invited to the dinner afterwards, appreciating the hospitality the church offered.
Reflecting on my experience that day, I recalled the words that I have heard since Mike began serving in the Indiana Conference back in 1976: "We are a connectional system." As I grow older, those words appear relevant in new ways. We sat at the dinner with the senior pastor of Mike's first appointment. Dick and his first wife, Phyllis mentored us lovingly during the 2 1/2 years Mike was part of their church. Later, during the service we sat with Peggy, whom we also knew, who was one of the three presiding pastors. Mike and I had mentored her husband, Andy, when he was a member of one of Mike's churches. Andy was a junior and senior in high school at the time. I can still hear the knock on our parsonage door--Andy wanting to talk to Mike about the way he was sensing God's call to ministry. Their visits in the parsonage occurred many times. Mike has been fortunate to serve in one conference during ministry, so our connections are long-lasting and deep.
I am thankful for Gladys' last gift to me--a clearer vision about what it means to be connected to God and connected to each other in ministry.
God, thank you for the ways our lives weave in and out and together in service to you across the miles. Amen.
Jacquie Reed Fishers, Indiana
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