October 25, 2010

Do You Like Being a Minister's Spouse?

Do you? Do you like being a minister's spouse?

I have to admit that, for the most part, I actually do. Sure, I don't like the stereotype of the mousy, under-achieving, do-gooder, who can't stand up for herself (or himself) and her (or his) family.

But I have never met a spouse who fits that stereotype either.

The spouses I know are wise beyond their years and articulate as all get out.

Being a spouse gives me a leadership role in the church and gives me access to all sorts of people. Sometimes I know the "inside" story and sometimes, I prefer not to be involved.

My spouse and I have an arrangement: he is the pastor and I support the ministries of the church as my gifts and time allow. And we have both honored our parts of the agreement.

I made the mistake, one time, of offering to play the piano for the service. You must realize that I am a very poor player and had to practice those four hymns all week. You see, I thought there was no one else who could step forward. That Sunday, I played to badly that not only was I embarrassed, but others were embarrassed for me. But months later I happened to discover that a friend of mine could play and play very well. Needless to say, I was angry at her. How could she let me do such a thing? Happily, she was ashamed; but she never did offer to play at church and I never did either; but others did. The experience taught me a valuable lesson. God does not leave himself without a witness, and I don't have to help just because I am the spouse.

Actually, this freed me to enjoy what I do at the church, because I am not coerced.

How about you? What have you learned from being the minister's spouse?


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