February 10, 2010

I don't have to be perfect.

When I became a pastor's wife fifty years ago, it was with great admiration for the position. I knew very little about the parsonage life that I thought was suppose to be perfect. And since I thought that marriage would be perfect, as was our touchy/feeling love in the years we dated, my self esteem was no worry at all! I would be smiling and always the happy minister's wife.

I soon discovered we were like most people. Ups and downs were common, but maybe unlike a lot of others, we tried to smooth all things over before we left the parsonage on Sunday. We knew about forgiveness, of course, and tried to make that the center. But my self esteem was tied up in that -- trying to make it work. Who was I anyway? I worked very hard, but it took a toll on my self-esteem. Now, however, I know the importance of healing past hurts that follow us throughout life.

When I became a born-again Christian at 32 years old (12 year after marrying my preacher), I was a new person. My self-esteem was now tied to living a Christ-filled life. That is true freedom. And as Jesus promised, he gave me "abundant life." So today when I fall, I know Who will help me up and guide me to try again. God is utterly dependable. Living in true freedom gives me strength, and I don't have to worry about self-esteem.

Lucy Neeley Adams www.52hymns.com

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