How much does your spouse tell you about the church?
When we were first married, I really wanted to know about everything--you know, no secrets between husband and wife. Now, I'm really glad my spouse chose to keep some things to himself. But sometimes, after we've been gone from a place, he'll tell me "the rest of the story." Most of the time, I knew it in my heart all along. For example, he told me that at one church certain people would not sing in the choir at the same time. It seems there was a feud between several families over something long forgotten. Frankly, I never noticed, but I always felt unwelcome in this church. And it wasn't just me but other new people as well.
Too often church members think I know things that I don't. And then sometimes, I do know. Because there are times when my spouse has to deal with things too shocking and terrible for any person to keep to himself.
Over time, I think we all learn to separate ourselves and carve out some family sacred space. Otherwise, I promise, the church will consume you. There are too many hurting people who don't know what healthy boundaries are.
So how do you handle the knowing or the not knowing? How much is too much information for you?
Kathy, editor and spouse