Just for Laughs

Here's a good way to begin the week.

1 Accept  the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the  statue!

2 Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you  have to eat them.

3 Always read stuff that will make you look  good if you die in the middle of it.

4 Drive carefully... It's  not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5 If you can't  be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

6 If you lend  someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth  it.

7 It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve  as a warning to others.

8 Never buy a car you can't  push.

9 Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,  because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

10 Nobody cares if  you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

11 Since it's the  early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12 The second  mouse gets the cheese.

13 When everything's coming your way,  you're in the wrong lane.

14 Birthdays are good for you. The more  you have, the longer you live.

16 Some mistakes are too much fun  to make only once.

17 We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are  sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all  are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

18  A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a  detour.

19 Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought  about you today.

20 Save the  earth..... It's the only planet with chocolate!*

AND MOST IMPORTANT
Be the kind of person  that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says~~ "Oh darn, she's up!"