This issue was raised in one of the comments and it is a good one. Who is the pastor of the clergy family? According to many, it is the District Superintendent. But is this true in your experience? And how realistic is it that you would go to your spouse's supervisor for help? But who should it be? Who can you turn to for help, spiritual and otherwise?
For example, who visited you in the hospital when you had your child? In my case, just my husband. For some, however, the spouse was too busy tending to the needs of the congregation to visit much during this crucial time.
In our conference, there are counselors available, but no designated chaplain. But in some conferences there is a person at the conference level who does act as a chaplain, or so I've heard. Is this true in your conference?
While I would never go to a DS or Bishop, I would have gone to Mary Morris. I first got acquainted with Mary when she was our DS's spouse. She was smart, kind, and politically savvy. A former school teacher, Mary was the person who introduced me (and others) to other spouses and got me going to the spouse events. When I think about her, I do believe she was a spiritual guide for many of us. I thought a lot of her husband, Bill, but loved Mary. I guess you could say, she was my pastor.
So when I need spiritual help, who do I go to now? Other spouse friends. In my experience, they are called by God into ministry as well--perhaps not a popular idea, but they pastor me.