January 15, 2010

What happens when you introduce yourself?

Dear Friends,

Usually when I introduce myself, somewhere during that conversation it comes out that I am a pastor's spouse. I don't hide the fact and actually most days I am happy to be married to a minister. However, I have never had a person respond, who didn't respond with either a grimace or a comment amounting to, "How awful" or "That must be hard." (This includes congregation members and other ministers' spouses.)

Early on in ministry, I was surprised. Now, I just brace myself for the predictable response.

Good grief, what kind of message are we sending for others to feel sorry for us right off the bat?

Being a minister's spouse has a long, strong tradition. In our more distant past, being a minister's spouse was considered a worthy calling. I'm not sure when things went awry. And I'm not sure why.

How do you like to be introduced or introduce yourself? How do people respond to you when they find you are a minister's spouse? How would you like them to respond?

Grace, Kathy

1 comment:

  1. I live in a part of the country where going to church is not the norm. When I say I'm married to a minister, I feel like people are either really intrigued by this unexpected response or else decide that -watch out - I may be a wacko over-the-top religious person. I have a Jewish friend who loves to ask me questions about things like parsonages and itinerancy, and she always thinks my answers are so fascinating. It is interesting that people respond differently to the question where experiences of Christianity (or lack thereof) differ.